Hi everyone, Thanks so much for your replies, I really appreciate it!
Sunnie, i couldn't agree with you more about just chopping up some veggies and eating them. Not hard! Doesn't take much time! It's really silly when I think of how I justified the convenience foods in my life, convincing myself that it was the *only* way I could eat a meal plus be in school and work. Ridiculous! In doing some reflecting about my eating habits, it's become really clear to me that food was all about comfort or giving myself a treat or just having some joy in my day. i know that sounds kind of sad, but so much of my life is about schedules and restrictions/what i can't do because i have so much schoolwork to do (an attitude that also needs some serious adjusting) but my food choices played right into that: I figured I have *no* time for actual cooking, so off to trader joe's or wherever i went, buying packaged or prepared foods. i didn't have to think about it, i could just heat something up and start eating. then when i was home with my family for christmas, i of course participated in preparing our delicious meals with lots of veggies, etc., and it just felt so nice to do that -- those acts are comforting too, and have that nice domestic ritual about them, and i realized how much i miss doing things like that! Plus, i realized how much i miss eating fresh veggies! so for sure, post cleanse, i want to be using my nice chopping knife and other kitchen tools that are collecting dust at the moment, and create healthy, fun, delicious meals for me and my friends. i still can't think too much about what those meals are going to be (too tempting!) but i am visualizing sitting around the table with friends enjoying healthy food and good company! i really think that one of the blessings of the master cleanse is the ability to step back and look at what you're doing with food, how you got to this place that made you unhappy, and then make some better choices about the future. we really do get a chance to start over, all shiny and new, in a way that other cleanses or diets (don't like that word!) don't really do.
Anaccidental, thank you! Yes, i have a deeply ingrained love for ice cream. and i can't imagine a world without ben & jerry's -- especially phish food and s'mores -- aah! growing up we always had ice cream in the freezer -- i'm not sure if it was my dad or my mom's preference -- they both love it, but my guess is it was my dad's impetus. anyway, ice cream was an almost daily thing in my house after dinner. and my parents still always have ice cream in the freezer. Honestly, i can't imagine that today! i mean we were all healthy kids, thank god we played tons of sports all through high school or i'm sure we'd be child obesity statistics. though it seems that most recently as an adult, i'm just shy of being in the obesity category according to my BMI. i don't always have ice cream in my freezer, but i do often enough and that has got to change, especially because when i do buy a pint of phish food or something, it doesn't last very long! so for sure, i am most grateful for your book recommendation and i will check that out once i am in my recovery days -- can't risk it sooner -- thank you so much!
Silly, thank you so much for your ideas -- that is an awesome rule, and one i am going to borrow from you! definitely need to just keep the junk out of the kitchen all together! I will have to start reading labels more carefully when i resume shopping, and mostly hope to buy whole foods anyway -- that way there are no confusing labels to look at!
hi memoriez, i look forward to that day when i can tolerate smelling and looking at food -- i can't even imagine going to a restaurant with folks and not eating! while i did manage that in my first 40-day MC (at the time going to restaurants with clients was a regular part of my job) when i think of it now, i don't know how i did that. but i think i was much further on in my cleanse than 5 days, and i had a more youthful resolve and some beginner's luck or perseverance or something. anyway, given that i practically ran away from food yesterday, i'm not ready for it yet! and i'm totally agreed about striving for moderation vs. all or nothing -- i tend to fall into the latter, so i'm doing my best to get back to center! this cleanse certainly gives us the mental space -- and the physical space from food -- to reconsider all that, and i'm really grateful for it. and i agree about the cleansing of the home projects! now that the stove and oven are cleaned, i have a big list of more things to do -- my whole life needs to be cleansed, really! -- but my favorite of all will be donating clothes that are too big for me once the cleanse is over. i firmly believe that if i get rid of larger clothes, it will be a huge incentive to stay grounded with a healthy diet, because i can't wait to shop for new skinny clothes, and i don't have the budget to go buying bigger clothes after that! i hope you have a great day as well!
rose, you rock too! did someone bring you a meal while you are cleansing? oh my! if so, i think i might have had to bring that straight over to a soup kitchen or something. if there is a bonus to being single and living alone, it's that i really did clean out my fridge and stuff before embarking on the rebooted cleanse: i couldn't resist the food in my house and it didn't take much for me to cave. i seriously give kudos to anyone who prepares or sits through meals with their partners and families. i am not that strong! i still cannot look at food -- like yesterday, i have no idea what they were serving because i not only ran through that reception area, i just looked for the door to get to the lecture hall and did not look away! yikes. not sure if i'm at that "downhill" place you mention, but maybe i will be soon!
okay, this has been a long entry so here's a quick update on me -- I wanted to post earlier in the day to share some good news: as memoriez foretold, i did happen to wake up well and bright-eyed, and since i was feeling so good, I decided to get on the scale -- I was a little hesitant because of my TOM, but i braced myself for whatever, and decided to just give it a try, and yay! I'm down to 190. I am so happy about that -- when i started the cleanse, i was at 199, then rebooted Day 1 i was 195, now Day 5, 190. like others have said, it's probably water weight and the rate of weight loss may slow down, but what the heck, whatever it is, i'm going to enjoy it! I worked hard for it either way!
despite my happiness for today (or maybe because of it), it's hard not to get addicted to the scale, regardless of whether you like what you're seeing or not. i'm going to try not to fall into the habit of weighing myself every day. i'm all about the weight loss, and i won't pretend that i'm not, but i don't want it to be everything. i want to create some space from thinking about what the scale says. so one thing that seems to work for me is that i seem to know when i wake up in the morning if i might be a bit lighter, or if i'm not. so if i'm feeling good, i'll get on the scale, and if i'm not, i won't. i probably won't be able to go too many days without weighing myself, but i'm going to try to prolong the time between me and my scale. if i could wait a week or something, that would be great!
I hope everyone has a fantastic day -- keep going -- we can do this!
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