Joined: Sat Feb 21, 2015 4:23 pm
Posts: 1
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Hi everyone. My name is Amanda
I am excited but mostly SCARED to begin my 4th Master Cleanse. I am beginning March 1st and will continue for hopefully 2 months but I will have to go at this one day at a time though I will not complete less than 14 days.
Here I will share personal and vulnerable details of my current self  . To be clear my "situation" or perception does not define "me", I am sharing these things in hopes that I can support, connect, and inspire others who relate to me. I feel this "Master cleanse" or any fast/cleanse is much more than physical but also mental and spiritual.
First I'd like to share... I have completed 3 successful 10-21 day cleanses in the coarse of 4 years BUT attempted over 200 times and failed! LOL So I can absolutely relate to those who keep making the commitment but can't seem to find the inspiration or focus in themselves to fallow through. Many times I have gotten onto this Blog site, read your logs, then walked away... puffed on a cigarette as I said aloud "Gee I know I want to but I can't because...(situation)" and of coarse there are always people around me saying "Food is good for you and cleansing/fasting at this time is unrealistic and irresponsible", I even listened to my boss at the time tell me "this clearly isn't good for you and it sounds ooey wooey" as he explained my lack of energy and peppiness was effecting my job security... Haha but it is my choice to decide what is realistic, what I deserve and why. I can do this! I'm just lacking the confidence and courage...which is perfect since confidence and courage are both earned by physical action. However I could most definitely use your support!
MY "SITUATION":
My current health condition is mostly caused by stress. I am a vegetarian/vegan of 7 years, I have smoked cigarettes for the past 2.5 years and very rarely drink alcohol. I find myself relying on coffee and cigarettes to manage my exhaustion and anxiety.
I am a single mother, with strong habits of keeping myself worn out with overworking, over stressing, worrying and speculating, I also deal with major depression and am recovering from years of emotional/physical abuse. I am not proud of these habits/details but I must start with honesty. Between working, switching jobs, eating dis-orders of binging and fasting, financial stress, current custody battle, also grieving from the recent death of my very best friend and heartache towards decision to separate from a 9 year relationship with the man that I love but cannot trust whatsoever. I have also recently moved to a new state where I find myself very much alone.
With all that I have very uncomfortably shared.....
I am also very resilient, intelligent, and strong. This cleanse seems very frightening but NOW is what I have to work with and nothing should be more important than loving myself/ourselves, I am clear that loving my body is an undeniable aspect to loving myself... and my body has been neglected long enough...
OKAY I will be saying prayers for us all! I will be checking in on you all as I can! also posting when I need to talk about this process of cleansing .
PS-I'm a bit worried about tooth pain, as during the last cleanse attempt I had gotten a tooth infection that spread deep into my gums eek! so painful! .... tomorrow is my pre-1st day so plan to drink the lemonade, quit the smoking, but allow 3 cups of coffee, then the next day it's strictly Stanley Burroughs instruction. XOXO
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