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Dear MC Journal and anyone who may be reading this,
I have had an epiphany recently; something happened to make me realize that I need to do something about my health and weight RIGHT NOW. I have been through a lot of personal struggles over the past six years, and due to the stress have gained 60 pounds. I've known for quite some time that I need to do something about it, but have just never had the emotional strength to tackle it. I was normally a very health-conscious person, but it's like I totally lost myself and forgot what was important to me. My life became just a day-by-day, how-do-I get-through-this process for so long and I did what many people do: I turned to food as my source of comfort and a means for dealing with all the upheaval. Before I knew it, I had ballooned into someone that I don't even recognize. The sad thing is that my children are still so young that they don't even remember me as the slim, trim, happy, healthy 135-pound mama that I used to be. Ironically, it was my daughter who triggered the epiphany for me. We were talking in the kitchen as she and my son sat and ate their before-bedtime snack, and she very innocently commented that I am "fat". The dreaded word that I've never dared to utter out loud. She didn't mean it in a hurtful way; just spoke the word in the frank, observant fashion of a young child. But it hit me hard and jolted me right out of my chair, and out of the unhappy, complacent acceptance that I had fallen into. The words that thundered in my head were, "What have you become????" When is it ok to accept less than the best for ourselves? When is it acceptable to treat our bodies as a garbage disposal, instead of the temple that they truly are? When is it just fine to allow ourselves to become unhealthy, unhappy, and overweight, and not fight to return to what we were before? I wouldn't want my loved ones to accept a life of exhaustion, high blood pressure, joint pain, sleep apnea, and all the other maladies that are brought on or magnified by being 60 pounds overweight. So why do I even try to pretend that it's ok for me to treat my body this way? I am more valuable than that. I NEED to take care of ME. Nobody else can do it for me. It's something that has to come from deep inside. Something that's been missing, even though in the hidden corners of my mind it's nagged at me, nudging and whispering, attempting to wake me up from this state of carelessness and unhappiness that I've been living in. So even though my daughter's words hurt me, it was what I needed to hear in order to find the resolve to change that has eluded me for so long. I've known about cleansing for a long time (way back in my health-conscious days), and I remembered a book I'd read on the Master Cleanser, so off I went to find support and hope for a way to change what I've become. I know this is only the first stepping stone on a long road to change my weight and my health, but it's a VERY important stepping stone. My mind and body need this cleansing. There are so many toxic emotions living inside all the fat cells that have taken up residence in my temple, and the first step is to destroy the many toxins that are there, so that I can begin to feel better physically and emotionally. I am excited, but also a bit apprehensive, about this journey toward health that I've begun. I am hopeful that I will be able to sustain it and make the right decisions, remaining on the cleanse as long as is necessary, but at the same time, I'm worried that habit will take over and cause me to fall off the wagon and into the rut again, so to speak. All I can do is try though. I can no longer sit and pretend it's not as bad as it is. I don't want to begin another day with this same hopeless, uncaring attitude that I have lived with for so long now. My children deserve better, I deserve better. I want to do this for them and for me, and for all the other people out there who might feel stuck and hopeless too.
My goals this time around are to regain clarity of mind, a return of energy, lower my blood pressure, and get rid of toxins, thereby eliminating some of this horrible FAT also.
I will be drinking my first laxative tea tonight, and will begin cleansing with the lemonade tomorrow. I hope to continue for 3 weeks, which means my last day of cleansing would be on the 24th day of this month.
I look forward to meeting other people on this forum who have somewhat similar goals as myself.
Health and well-being is something worth fighting for and a state that none of us should ever take for granted.
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