SW: 144.8
CW: 138.4
GW: <130+-
The biggest looser weigh in @ work is 1 more weigh in away from completion (next week the person weighing peeps is away so the week after that is the final weigh in), lol I'm looking forward to seeing how our entire office does, everyone's been doing such a great job!!!
Mornin folks!
Hit the sack a little earlier last night. In all honesty I expected to wake up at like 4 or 3 something but I instead slept right up until near alarm clock... Body seemed to have needed more rest apparently! I also had no issues waking up and get moving, unlike the normal groggy BLEH, smack snooze 3 times then panic rush to get out lol. Oh how I did miss that rejuvenated clear minded wake-up routine, even caught the earlier bus to work!
No BM's overnight, though all night and morning it's been tummy gurgle-ville lol. Probably because I combined two poop-tea bags in my cupboard, one of which is extra str, and one of which is 'regular', the health store was out of extra strength which I normally use so that is why there are two different strengths, bet ya the tea I had last night was 'regular' due to the non-waking-up-mid-way-panic-bathroom-run
One BM so far this morning since getting to work. Having some tea right now though
As for 'lady time' - it's full force so I don't know how much THAT is affecting anything aside from my mood swings lol. I spent a solid 5 minutes washing and re-washing my face last night in the shower - just greaaaasy as heck! Otherwise, no other symptoms of detox that I know of.
**personal non MC rant skip this**
Energy level is great! My brain still won't shut up about the ex and just how much I want to tell him to what extent he showed little respect. Though I'm over the relationship and all that itself and wouldn't have an issue hanging out with him, I'd like to plant a seed in his head and just get that portion out so that one day he'll FULLY realize just what not to do to his 'next' and if we ever hook up one day, to never make that mistake again. Anyyyyway I hope in time I can let it go if I never get to express that. My brain is constantly consumed with those thoughts of all the recollections and instances where respect wasn't shown. Feelings of angst and all that crap keep arising, hell, even muttering to myself sometimes lol. So hopefully this all subsides in my mind and I can actually let it go. Did I have issues post leaving the 8 year relationship like this? Nope, none. But with the 8 month one? Hell yes lol. Still holds true though - MOST people only remember and hold on to the bad, not the good. I refuse to let myself to only remember 'the bad'. I find that my intense desire to get this off my chest to him is mainly out of the desire to feel understood and the carebear factor that maybe one day he'll see just how far up his ass his head was sometimes and not to repeat his own mistakes. Sure they're his to make and it is not my place to change someone or try to..no no no. But a hint of realization whether it's now or 5 years from now are all I can hope for. If I simply told him then it would ALL stop, the brain and heart would feel 10,000x lighter and the brain would just shut up. Perhaps this is a test of self-governance of the mind?
Ah well, c'est la vie. That's a good portion of this cleanse, is to get in touch with what is going on .. on the inside, ask myself why I feel the way I do and all that crud. Not only that but going back to a previous point in a different post... To let it go. I've let everything else go. I'm not crucifying myself for my own previous choices, nope never. Even over this whole relationship thing, i'm over THAT aspect of it, what happened happened, learned a ton and move on. But can I let go of what I mentioned above? Guess that will be the test. Still tearing up out of frustration on the ODD occasion, like..now lol, not over the fact that we're broken up or whatever nope, that I made peace with ages and ages ago. But just out of..frustration in hoping he actually understands to the extent what he should be sorry for lol. I know if I were to get this out on him I could just return to just good buddies who geek out playing games and BS about life and such and everything would be fine. His thoughtless words were breaking my heart hah, good thing we walked away from that relationship! But guess the old saying is true, "one of the strongest drives in human nature is to be appreciated and understood'. Ahhh k, my vent fest is done, always feels good to rant on e-paper.
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INSPIRATIONAL STUFF COMING NEXT!!