It’s 2am and yeah, maybe I’m just kidding myself and having another hopeful fantasy moment. Here’s the skinny though: I have a bottle of maple syrup on my desk, and damn it, maple syrup DOES expire!! *shakes fist* That shit is expensive and I didn’t buy it last month to just leave it there.
So I want to use it up one way or another... that’s a lie. I want to use it up one way only: doing a damn effective cleanse
The good news is I still have some of the TEA left from this time last year (it doesn’t expire for another year, wooo!), I have sea salt, and I even have lemons (enough to get me through day 1, anyway).
So this is the plan of action
: I wake up tomorrow (around 12pm, let’s say... a girl can dream, but...) and I do my SWF (already refrigerated the quantity of water to help me). Whilst I’m waiting for those unpleasant effects to kick in, I’ll do my chores (dish washing, dog walking, etc etc).
I have my tea sitting next to me waiting to be drunk. And today when I was eating, I just felt sick of food. Well, I felt sick in general (moan moan moan) but whatever. So I plan to give myself a break from the tedious process of EATING (oh my god... what has this place done to me?!
) and just drink lemonade for the next ten days, twenty if we’re lucky.
I’ve identified my usual point of failure: somewhere between 3 and 6pm when especially edible food tends to make its presence known (seeing as I do like to wander the kitchen when I’m doing a detox) and this always coincides with me not having drank enough of the lemonade. Usually I’ve only managed 2 out of the 8 glasses I should have drank by then.
(What, it tastes like crap, what do you want me to do!!! Lol)
So tomorrow I’ll be getting down at least 4 lemonades before this point and drinking water whenever I get the urge to eat.
This time I get the fun of having a boyfriend whilst I’m going through this process! This time last year I did not have a boyfriend who would worry about me during the cleanse. I decided I won’t be telling him when I’m actually doing the cleanse until I’m past day 4, because I think he would worry. Although I’m sure he’ll be happy with the end result seeing as how I’m all, like, FAT right now!
A few things to note:
1) I never had a breakout when I’m cleansing but you never know when it could happen.
2) I’m expecting my period around day 4 (crankiness overload today, sorry for over sharing), which is the same that happened last year but I’m not worried about that.
3) On day 2 I get a bad case of the dizzies and sometimes pass out so I’ll keep activity levels low then.
4) I may very quickly run out of money to fund this (granted it is cheaper than eating normally but I can’t afford that either, most of the time) which will mean my detox ending with a resounding “Oh, SHIT” and then me stuffing my face with something... cheesecakey. Reeally not a good idea and could potentially put me in hospital so I’m going to have to keep reminding myself, over and over, that any solid food past day 3 is dangerous.
5) If I decide to break early, someone please remind me to do it with liquids before I eat any solid food so as not to upset my body.
Alright, long rant over
now. Check back in tomorrow (better fucking do it!! *angry*)