My MC story

secretcleanser · **Joined:** Sun Jul 11, 2010 3:03 pm **Posts:** 56

Lillybee, you did 13 days without any cheating, so celebrate that first

And if you did cheat, it's ok, you can just start again today and in a couple of days your body will be back to your post-binge glory!

Lillybee · **Posted:** Tue Jul 20, 2010 4:02 pm

Secretcleanser - Thanks for the kind words. I think it's too hard on my body to be so drastic, so I'm eating lite today and then I'm getting back on the cleanse tomorrow. I'm going to keep trying until I get it right...

lucullan · **Joined:** Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:08 pm **Posts:** 156

lillybee...sorry about the binge. we should really be carefull and ease out slowly. they do say that is most important. so don't be upset because of the binge. try to understand why and what happened. why didn't you just chose to ease out? So you will learn something from this experience.
rather then trying to get back to fasting why dont you give yourself a break. A healthy ease out and then a healthy break. You will feel when you are ready again. Don't push yourself just because you want to correct the "wrongs". It took me 5 months from my first fasting to gather enthu and strenght again.

You did great a great 12 days which is a great achievement! Be proud of yourself. Now eat healthy and take some 3 days of veggie soups. I hope you are not feeling too bad physicaly from that 3000 calorie binge. How did your body take that?

good luck and chin up

Lillybee · **Posted:** Tue Jul 20, 2010 7:57 pm

Hey lucullan - I started off with veggies, then added chicken, then butter and then before I knew it I was eating brownies & doritos. I have no excuse. I gave into what I thought felt good vs what I knew was right. It wasn't all in one sitting though, it was spread out over the course of 9 hours. I felt shaky and weird. I got really bad anxiety. Today I felt ravenous & had a headache.

Thanks for the kind words. I was really embarassed to post the calories I ate. I really wanted to keep it to myself, but I think if I'm going to be on here sharing my story, it should be truthful.

I'm eating 1/3 of what I ate yesterday and I'm going to try to do another two weeks starting tomorrow. I really don't want to quit now... I know I can do this.

mossadi · **Joined:** Wed Jul 21, 2010 3:43 am **Posts:** 31

Lillybee · **Posted:** Thu Jul 22, 2010 2:49 pm

Well, I decided to ease out of food for a few days and I'm starting again tomorrow. Going to do 14 days (I think I did 10 days total already).

Hope everyone is staying on track and feeling heathier and stronger

Lillybee · **Posted:** Fri Jul 23, 2010 5:49 pm

Day... 1? I don't like saying day 1 because I already did so many days in the last two weeks... oh well.

The lemon drink tasted very good today- I actually missed it. I'm super hungry. Stomach is growling like crazy. I really want to eat pizza and just "start tomorrow".

Not going to give in.

lucullan · **Joined:** Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:08 pm **Posts:** 156

be strong

to avoid more of day 1

you can still have pizza...in about 3 weeks...it wont go anywhere

Lillybee · **Posted:** Sat Jul 24, 2010 4:34 am

Day 2 - slept all day yesterday. Feel good today, not very hungry.

lucullen- you are so right- the pizza will always be there, I do not have to have it today.

InThisToMakeIt · **Joined:** Thu Mar 12, 2009 7:08 pm **Posts:** 174

Hey Lillybee

How are you? I read through your entire thread and wanted to share something with you if that's okay. I started my first cleanse about 3 or 4 years ago I was doing great my first try..great like I could conquer the world great lol Come my 14th day..my mom made her infamous spaghetti..the end was history. I wasn't even HUNGRY..it just looked so good I had to eat it. I don't know WHAT came over me but I just saw that everyone was busy in the dining room..I crept to the kitchen (Cuz I'm sick in the head like that lol) and saw some unattended spaghetti and dove right in. I just ate a huge bowl. Nothing in the world can describe that feeling of guilt and failure that came over me. Let alone the major stomach pain I had to endure and the bathroom trips that a different story lol ... So everytime I tried jumping back on the MC wagon, I would cheat! Then came another time where I re-started and then on my 3rd day, I had doritos! Out of alllllll things. Then I went to the fridge and had a cream cheese bagel and some pickles and then some chocolate. I beat myself up about it for days. Not only did I feel like crap, I let myself down, put my body through A LOT and more. It just left me a anxious wreck. Then I just gave up on everything which is why my weight crept up. I was never overweight as a teenager. I had curves yeah but not overweight you know? Back then I thought that was fat! I'm 25 now and I WISH I could be that weight again. This is very emotional for me and I'm sure a lot on this forum can relate. I'm so tired of going through the same disappointment. I'm tired of failing, I am so DETERMINED to do this, this time around. Not because of the weight loss, but because I need to be in control of my health, I have to control my cravings, control my urge to eat just out of boredom..but most importantly GOD IS IN CONTROL He wants what's best for us always. I'm on Day 6 today and I have to constantly comfort myself and talk to myself about how it's going to be allllllllllllllllllllll worth it at the end. I'm in a LDR and haven't seen my love for a long time and I refuse to let him see how I am now, I'm so insecure with how I've become and it's really drilling a wedge between him and I. I want to work on myself and just become a healthier person overall, that's all I want. Everytime I cheated and ended up binge eating on my previous cleanses, it made me stronger. As strange as that may sound Lillybee, it made me stronger. I KNOW I can do this, I KNOW YOU can do this. So remember, you will have severe bowel issues soon after and trust me it is NOT WORTH THE FOOD. Also remember that eating will only bring you joy for a few minutes – then you have to deal with the bowel thing and the guilt and the fact that you have to start all over again. Not fun. I wish you the best of luck, as well as everyone here on this forum.

Lillybee · **Posted:** Sat Jul 24, 2010 6:22 pm

Day 2 evening- Slept all day, just like yesterday. That time of the month- major cramps, slight headache. Not very hungry. Feel dehydrated from sleeping so much. Feeling depressed, sad, alone- don't usually feel this way. Maybe it's a combo of my period, sleeping so much & the detox??? Going to gulp down lemon drink & water & try to sweat out some toxins with a light workout.

InThisToMakeIt- Thank you so much for sharing your story. The "unattended spaghetti" comment cracked me up :lol:

I can relate to the relationship thing- I refuse to even date right now 'cause I hate how I look. I also think back to when I was much thinner and think that I looked amazing, but back then I wasn't happy 'cause I kept thinking that I needed to lose 5lbs. As women, how we feel about our looks greatly affects our relationships. Unfortunately, society places much of our value on how we look. It's completely superficial, but that is the world we live in. It's gotten to the point that were so super critical of each other, it's become nearly impossible for women to feel good about how they look. I do not know a single woman who isn't constantly complaining about something- weight, hair, boobs, teeth, etc. I could go on and on about this subject...

Anyway, your so right, those few minutes of pleasure eating are only going to bring on pain. We can do this! We are doing this

Lillybee · **Posted:** Sun Jul 25, 2010 2:52 pm

Day 3 - 159.6 ... I'm in my 150's! Yay! I'm going to focus-10 more pounds and I will be in my 140's- which I have not seen for 1-1/2yrs.

Ladies: I don't know if others had noticed this too, but my period had an unusually heavy flow, although it was thinner, not as dense, like there was water added to it. Weird.

Went to bed really hungry last night. Almost gave in... but I didn't. So happy I didn't

InThisToMakeIt · **Joined:** Thu Mar 12, 2009 7:08 pm **Posts:** 174

Lillybee!!! Wow that's amazing!!!! I can't WAIT until you're down to your 140's. That's a huge celebration and even bigger accomplishment girl

You should be very proud of yourself. I went to sleep hungryyyy last night and my stomach was GA-rawling :evil:

Oh yess I HAVE noticed that with my period as well. Same exact thing that you described. I think it looks better this way lol Means we're like totally hydrated and our bodies are just cleansing more and more. I don't even have any cramps, not one time *knock on wood* So how did you feel on your Day 3? Did your period give you any trouble at all? I hope not. Good luck on your Day 4 <3

Lillybee · **Posted:** Wed Jul 28, 2010 10:12 pm

Day 4 - No problem.
Day 5 - No problem.
Day 6 - Feeling super dizzy & sick. Although, I think it might be the weather- super hot & humid outside. Was working outside and sweating like a pig. Constantly drank fluids but maybe I was dehydrated? Skin looks awsome! Feeling bloated- maybe retaining water from earlier dehydration?

Not hungry. Only foods that sound appealing are fruits, veggies & seafood.

Lillybee · **Posted:** Thu Jul 29, 2010 11:23 pm

Day 7 - Easy. Don't want food at all. Don't feel hungry. Slept like a baby after not sleeping well for days- for a few hours it was like I was delirious, and then my body just shut down and went to sleep. Had super vivid dreams again.

I also can't get over how great my skin looks! It's so silky soft and it just looks like 3 years have been erased.

Was in such a good mood that I went shopping with the extra cash I had on hand from not buying food. I bought new boots for fall- can't wait to wear them with my skinny jeans

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