Master Cleanse Forum - Master Cleanser Lemonade Diet

Now my weight really is the lowest I can remember in my adult life. I remember being incredibly fit and strong and small at 119 when I was 17 years old and that is where I am headed again. I can practically see that number on the scale and feel that previous body waiting for me!

The Power Rangers, Ninjas and Navy Seals, and Flying Monkeys all showed up here to get me to quit my Master Cleanse. I fought them off. I even had to fight off Frosty the Freakin' Snowman who tried to freeze me to death. I beat him with a huge coat and a little beanie hat. Melting Melting!


It's Day 34.


My tongue is pinker but not pink. Patience my pretties, patience.


I had a rope worm exit on Day 29, a big one. 18 inches. And buckets of mucus. It's pretty crazy.


I bought this pair of pants at the thrift store maybe 2 weeks back that were so so tight I couldn't get them to button and now they fit. So size is leaving me, but not necessarily weight. I stopped weighing myself cause weighing yourself is hella-annoying in all ways. My sternum feels really odd, like it isn't enjoying the shrinking process. I look very different than I did 34 days ago.


I've been able to go to the gym and do my daily stuff ... it's all good. If I get detox-y, I stop and lay down and read or watch Netflix til it passes. It can literally pass in an hour now. A couple of quotes float in my head, one is, "No matter what on the Master Cleanse, Do Not Eat." The other is about haters, a woman writes about how she was working in a restaurant and told the bartender she was doing the Master Cleanse and his reply was, "If you wanna lose weight, you should just come over to my apartment and we can spend a weekend smoking Crystal Meth." Jessie, is that you?


Days 20-30 soundly kicked my ass. I mean it felt like I was run over by a fully charged Prius. So much joint pain, so much emotional detox. This cleanse has been the most amount of emo detox I have ever experienced. First it was grief. Now it's all about getting flashbacks and accepting things as the are. As. They. Are. Not edited or made pretty. It's interesting.


In closing a rather hilarious combo of Vogue magazine does the Master Cleanse that gave me the laff big time! I love how deeply out of touch Vogue still is. It's charming.


http://www.vogue.com/865349/mr-clean-je ... -the-test/

Day 35 125.3

Day 36 125.8



This is why my sternum hurts. I'm shrinking. This jacket didn't fit very well and now it feels like I could put a sweater under it and be just fine. It's a gorgeous work of art, quilted and elaborate. Looks like it was made in the 1800's. (thrifted) Great for an ordinary Wednesday. I'm so pleased I didn't get rid of that incredibly cute Levi's jean jacket in size small that I had for years hoping it would fit. Fits me now. A couple days ago I was expecting a person at my house and she showed up early when I had no dang clothes on! I was trying clothes cause everything fits. Ha! It's really strange that the upper body shrinks like that cause shoulder breadth just seem so permanent and stationary and unchangeable.



Castor oil. Ice packs and a heating pad. Epsom salts for baths. Hot and cold showers but esp. the cold showers really help pain. I mean it is a lot of toxins and poisons and acids leaving the body as fast as possible!

Mint tea for nausea. Lots of water. Master Cleanse is intensely hard and at the same time so easy at times it's of laughable.



For days now I have wanted a big lettuce sandwich, wrapped in lettuce! Ha! I'm having fantasies about it.


Food seems crazy to me. The things people eat! I have cooked about three times a day every day. The food is "food" right? It's cooked food and not for me since it would make me very ill. But the things Mister Squee eats ... would kill me. Almost killed me. And because I haven't been eating his food quality has gone way way down.


He told me yesterday that I look really good, and that he is fat. He's not ... he's been lifting weights and suddenly had big muscles like a giant bird unfolding. I adore him but he really can't grasp that a candy, chips and SAD diet with coke will make him feel bad. He was talking about going on a lean cuisine diet soon. Brainwash. I remember see? I freakin' remember thinking that that was the way out and clipping coupons for the frozen irradiated food. Again. "Food." The deep sadness of food. Not wanting to nourish but to feel that 60 seconds of drug like "satisfaction" ... which you pay for later cause intestines never forget.








Yesterday 5 more gallstones, floating in a sea black slime. It was black, see? Black as night. WTF is that? No idea, but (butt) it's gone now. 3 more gallstones this morning. It's a Partay in the Liver!




Master Cleanse forces the flesh and the mind to give up and submit and finally with a long sigh and shutter you have nothing but intense freedom. You remember very clearly that you are an immortal soul, clothed lightly in flesh pretending to be a human. Having a human experience. That you are on the world and not at all of the world. Prayer is deeper. Meditation is constant. Let it go let it go.

Master Cleanse Day 37 Weight 126.3 (had to take my weight at a different time so not accurate! But we do what we can!)

You can take the girl outta the Hogan, but you cannot take the Hogan outta the girl.

All I wanna wear is old Navajo style skirts. Huge skirts, lots of material. Made of tiered velvet. It feels like Home. Adn you can never go Home again, right? Unless you realize that *you* are Home. You always were and you always will be.

Massive flashbacks of early youth in New Mexico. Cravings for shredded wheat and grapenuts which I ate as a young kid and haven't eaten for years. Not just cravings, I could taste them!

Yesterday was rough. Like knock down, foot trapped in a rope drug behind a pony named Macaroni tough. (I've actually had a pony named Macaroni!) I felt like death, I looked like death. Everything was wrong.

Then Mister Squee announces were going out to this new sushi place. Um. I thought maybe he was catching on? But no. Honestly he has no idea I'm on the MC. That is how good I am at keeping secrets and how good he is at either minding his own beeswax or just being so heady that he's oblivious. Which ever mood strikes you, I leave it to you.

But yeah, there's 4 Master Cleanse books in obvious site, there's no food in the fridge. LOL! I mean I have 8 watermelons in the laundry room waiting for me, so maybe that is giving me camouflage? No idea. Thing is I give him zero hints. I don't want him to know. So I have magically woven a web of unknowing, and it worked.

Better to NEVER tell people you are on a Master Cleanse in my opinion. It freaks them out if they are SAD Zombies. They can't imagine. They start repeating nonsense that media spoon fed them with their full fat greek yogurt. "You HAVE to EAT!" they say as they dip their Fritos into Hormel Chili. OK dudes, whatever. Anyone who eats In and Out is disqualified.

This is the long path. Long game.

Long way of saying. We went to that dinner I had tea and lemon water. The waiters stared but I don't care. Long hair doesn't care. Hubs assumes that cause I am raw vegan there is nothing on the menu I can eat. Perfect. Keep thinkin that.

Then he announces after the gym today we're going to the Japanese Noodle House downtown. OK.

Anyhow. You can do anything. And so can I. Your mind is 2000% stronger than your flesh. The hard part is making up your mind. Once you do that? You stay gold pony boy!

The point is, finally last night I removed a three foot long rope worm. On day 36. Then more came out, like massive slime, like just so gross. I smelled like onion all day yesterday. Horrible. But (Butt) better out than in.

Day 37 ... she begins in earnest ...

Day 38 124.5

A skirt with a 25 inch waist fits me now. I nearly cried out of sheer joy. A pair of seven for all mankind jeans in size 25 almost fit me and will fit for sure at 119! I'd love to be able to hang on til 119. We'll see what is possible. It's day to day right now and I know I can make it to 40. If my tongue is pink I will be so grateful. I have so much junk coming out of me right now that I wouldn't dream of stopping before 40.

It's definitely a bit harder right now. It's my wedding anniversary today and there was another restaurant encounter where I drank lemon water and tea while Mister Squee ate ramen and sesame chicken. Not my food, but still much tougher than home cooking.

Big Party on Sunday night. Easy to pretend to eat at those things though .. take a plate ... push food around, throw food away. Easy peasy.

The drink was repulsive to me for a couple of days. Like disgusting and I had to force myself to drink it. I have heard of that happening to other people. It hs never happened to me and I have done a 10 day and a 40 day before. I am using homegrown very ripe strong lemons. So the detox is real. Lemons don't play.

Dressing is pure pleasure. I'm learning how to do elaborate braids in my hair ...

"I am in this for the detox, everything else is just wet blankets, red trousers, pashmina’s, shirts that button up the wrong way round and getting eyelashes flicked around in your eye and making a real fanny-hash about it."

- from the Mercury Diaries. A blog about a man suffering with Mercury poisoning who uses the Master Cleanse to very successfully recover his health.

http://mercurydiaries.com/2014/02/08/2n ... r-cleanse/

40 days on Master Cleanse done and dusted! Success!

As soon as this is over, you absolutely almost forget how hard it was. Almost. I cleared out all the signs of sea salt, lax tea, teaspoons and I can't believe I made it. Seriously, I think God did the last ten days and I was just propped up in the front seat carpool lane. I had to close my eyes and pray the third night I was in a restaurant and had lemon water and tea. I'll never do that again, be in a restaurant so close to the end of a fast.

*shakes fist at the sky!*

I now have the cleanest colon of anyone on the big flat Earth rock. My tongue remained pink and even got pinker as that last 48 hours passed. I'm so so grateful, I was worried that would never happen!

I went early and picked about 40 pounds of fresh lovely oranges from the reclusive neighbor's tree. So I am set up. They are big into oranges to break a long Master Cleanse. It was take at least 20 days to acclimate to eating again.

Also made watermelon juice and am still craving a lettuce on lettuce sandwich! My taste buds are so clean I feel like they are working at electron microscope level.

The lemonade turned on mye the last 5 days and was almost undrinkable. I have heard of that happening before to other people. It didn't happen on my previous ten day MC, or on the 40 days back over the Holiday season of 2014. But man it happened this time.

I was super blessed to have enough lemons here growing to 100% use fresh very ripe lemons to pull off the cleanse. I have never been able to do that until this time because I had been avoiding lemons and working more of a sweet fruit 90-5-5 plan for 16 months prior to the Master Cleanse. Stanley Burroughs and Tom Woloshyn are right, do the drinks fresh and you get better results. I could not even ask for better results. I made a list of health complaints before I started. I'll see how that list gets demolished as I ease back in.

I removed 40-50 gallstones, 5 enormous rope worms including one that was 3 feet long at the end. That was on Day 36 and here's hoping she was the Mother. It is the longest one ever, so hopefully! There was cup upon cup ... gallons of mucus that came out. At one point it was black. Black. Freakin black.

I also have to say living on your own fat stores is not as pleasant as living on bananas and greens. There's alot stored in the fat cells. So you have to work thru a huge amount of cellular memory and trauma. I cried every night for the last week or so. It helped me release huge amounts of pain and I suggest it as a coping mechanism as I am sure it heals our cells to actually cry it out.

Because you get so high and the veil thins, and you can feel so much spiritual energy, it is a bummer to start eating again. Even if it is just watermelon juice or orange juice, it feels like you were driving at 70 mph and then you slammed on the brakes. You can fishtail for awhile. It's like this with fasting no matter how gently you go back in. I think it is unavoidable and this is coming from a person who has done 90 days of juice fasting, many mono fruit diet cleanses, banana island, grape fasting, watermelon island, orange fasting. Fasting brings you close to God. So eating is a shock.

I'm smaller now than I have been before in my adult life. Which is great, I enjoy being smaller. They say it is not the purpose of a MC to lose weight but ... it's a huge benefit. Your body is going to detox that fat. But the main benefit is detox. I say you can't actually separate the two so ... why bother trying. One day at a time!

My skin looks unreasonably perfect. It's great really. To celebrate I ordered a large dehydrator, which I will probably use more for making kale chips for the hubs than for me. But it will be fun and is a fun way to mark the beginning of a clean colon life!

At one point Mister Squee did say, "Are you eating anything at all?"

Yeah Dude. I'm eating sunlight!

ending weight 123.9 .... 25.1 pounds lost.

Thank you so much for sharing your journey. I thoroughly enjoyed reading through these posts as I begin day 1 of my 10 day cleanse. I have never attempted the Master Cleanse before.

I feel incredibly inspired (thanks to your story), a little uneasy about what's to come (also thanks to your story ), but for the most part I feel pretty confident that I can succeed.

Congrats on making it 40 days!! That's amazing!

Great journal..thoroughly enjoyed reading it. I have been wavering on embarking a MC..have tried before and made 6 days before I let people talk me out of it. Secrecy is key. Tomorrow I shall start again...

I absolutely loved reading through your MC journey! Thank you for sharing it!
I cracked up every time you said your husband still didn't know you weren't eating. Ha!!

Day 3 here. Thank you for the encouragement!

Abbey: Your 40 day MC journal is the best thing I've read in a year, and I read for my profession!

Beautiful ending, and would you please post some sort of followup?

I was amazed that you were not only able to do the MC with your husband around, but that you were able to do it secretly! Like he never knew you were on the thing!?!

Your successful actions ring true for me, namely keep those MC references handy, & knowing that this is a detox, and know that adverse reactions are actually part and parcel of the Cleanse and NOT reasons to give up.

This site has so many journals that end abruptly or are full of cheating (wheat grass, carrot juice, etc), it is a wonder that anyone gets through at all. Yours was a complete inspiration. Yes, there are days (many) on the MC when you suddenly feel GREAT, and it's all worth it. This needs to get through to everyone attempting a start.

I would add that it is hugely workable to have visualized (and keep visualizing) the full amount of days planned. Which you seemed to do.

Anyway, kudos for sticking with it for so long, and cheers for making it such an engaging read.

Love, BLemon

An update as per your request! Thank you for the kindness!

I'm gearing up for another Master Cleanse. At least 10 days. It's always at least 10 days. I read the books my friends! And then til my tongue goes completely utterly strawberry pink again. It stayed pink for awhile and it's now a bit ... white-ish and my energy is not where I like it. I like that high high non stop moving energy.

I have some trigeminal neuralgia pain (I was electrocuted) returned and I have a cyst in my hand, my right hand, index finger that has returned with a vengeance. The nodule is palpable. It's angry and I swear I can see it thru the skin. I think it cussed at me! This is a cyst that vanished when I started my journey to detox.



I tell Mister Squeegy last night about the hand.

"Well it went away last time." he says. "How did you make it go away before?"

I look at him. He's surrounded by peanut butter and these pay by the pound candies. Shaped like fruit. Colored with carcinogenic dyes. And a diet Hansens soda cause it is healthy. Eyeballz all akimbo and wide ...

I decide, in that moment, you know. Why not?

"I used a green juice fast. I drank nothing but juice for 55 days."

Emphasis on FIFTY FIVE.

He looks surprised. He was there! This was the beginning of my journey and he begged me to stop cause the first three days I was sick as a dog. I mean I was in bed like I had the flu and he was begging me to eat ... eat anything. This is silly, don't do this. There must be a different way. No effer. There is not a different way. There's drugs to numb pain, there's cooked food and processed food to keep you in a Zombie state. But as far as healing? It's Juice Fasts, Mono Fruits, Dry fast water fast, Master Cleanse ... Get out of the way of the body. Let it heal itself. No Doctor can do that, it's an inside job.

It was the last time I really kept him or anyone informed about what I do. They just can't handle it.

So now, Post 40 day Master Cleanse; Now I am on melons. Watermelons, canary, honeydew, cantaloupes. I estimate I have ... maybe 7 days of melons left and then I will start the Master Cleanse again. Hopefully. You wanna focus on gathering support. Getting supplies in. I have all my maple syrup, cause you know I knew I would need it. I have my Poo Tea stocked up. I ordered a pound of cayenne off FleaBay. It's 90K strong! It's luscious!

The only problem is that I am outta lemons.

And it's not lemon season. I figure that a solution will appear to me very soon.

Tom Wolosyn says 100 days on the cleanse to get a truly clean colon. I have done 90, but probably split up too far? I don;t know. My tongue knows! My guts know! So we begin again. Soon.

Hubs went back to work today. He's a College Professor. He was off for almost a month, so it is amazing to have the house back. It will be easier. And he probably won't know, again.

People seem to really be amazed about that. LOL! Well I think in a way it is much more telling about me. I think I probably was the Queen of an Ancient Alien Race of Secret Keepers (and bananas, and all things fruity).... I've never understood the concept of a secret that isn't secret. That's just ... gossip then right? If you have a secret, it should be secret.

Master CLeanse is probably the biggest secret of all. It actually works. I never expected it to actually work. I initially did it to prove it didn't work. But it works. Boy howdy does it ever. I have seen and heard some testimonials that are just ridiculously amazing. It works! But it usually works better (for me) if it is secret. Because it takes concentration and a zen like calm. You have to stay calm cause the storm is coming.

I think also people over estimate how much others are watching their food intake. I mean I have done long fasts over major Holidays. As long as a plate is being held, people assume you are eating. Scrape a fork around, make some noises ... people are self obsessed.

I am not down with unsupportive humanoids. I really don't care for that. I know what I am doing. I have cured so many horrible health problems following both my vast education and my endless intuition. So my feeling is that if someone will not be supportive, there's no need to even involve them. I only do these things to succeed, not to start arguments.

Plus if someone is eating doritos, they are disqualified forever from ever expressing an opinion I need to take seriously.