Master Cleanse Forum - Master Cleanser Lemonade Diet

I've done a few Master Cleanses that were absolutely perfect. I am talking about making Saint Stanley Burroughs cry into his lemonade and flutter his big lemon yellow wings with satisfaction. "Finally!" he says, "Someone does it right. Someone followed my exact Directions! I knew this would haooen AFTER I died ..."




This. Right here? Is NOT that cleanse.




This is altogether something else.




The toxins coming out me are just ridiculous. And so fast. So quickly it feels a bit like I was walking calmly on the beach and suddenly I look out to Sea and see a Tsunami being caused by Godzilla's Evil Brother rising from the Sea about to wipe out me and all of Toyko. Go Go Godzilla.




It has called on me to be extremely flexible. Like Circ' de Soiele level flexible.




And as an aside the last time I did a 40 day MC, I was able to do the splits again. My flexibility improved so much. I felt zero resistance in my joints as if all the tiny glass shards had been removed. And they had. But (butt) it didn't last. Let's see how we do this time! It'll be super fun. Or as they say in Germany, "Zuper!"




Between the addition of a strong SWF (more salt, more water) and the coffee enemas? I feel like I am getting out multiple years of gunk in chunks. Like big bunches of very dangerous poisons are leaving my body. And it is very very very painful)




(Don't worry ... keep breathing .. it all turns out fine ...)









"She had eyes so blue they looked like weather . When she needed me I wasn't round. That's the way it goes it'll all work out.

When it mattered most, I let her down. "




Tom Petty




I discovered this song watching Elizabethtown. Which is a failed Cameron Crowe project. I'm maybe the only fan of this movie and I'll tell you why. It's one of the only movies about Failing so epically that the main character is planning his own suicide. And his journey back into the depths of Family and Love. How he is saved by many other people from himself. A theme I obviously can relate to.




The song about being let down when it matters and the fracture of Family resonates in my like my heart is a huge drum in a marching band being played by a Monkey in a red hat with a gold tassel on it.




How do you heal that?




You take away the last bit of protection you have. You take away the food and let the grief be expressed with no buffer at all. No costumes, no spotlights Just the truth.




My Body was very much stolen from my by my past history. So being brave enough to take it back? Huge! Huge. Scary as hell. Almost no one does it. Because it is very much like storing all your demons in a box locked with huge padlocks and chains. And one day you show up with a bolt cutter. You let them all out. They dance on your prostrate body. It feels like they will win. But. BUTT. What do we know? Evil never wins. Faith wins. Love wins. Even if it seems like it isn't true. Love always triumphs. Fasting is a form of love.




You are strong enough to do anything. Because you are child of God, created in the House of Love. You are having a human experience but you YOU are NOT human. And if anything can wake you up? Ditching the drugs (aka The Food) will do it. And how.





Day 29 124.8

Master Cleanse Day 31



"Holy eff you're so so small!"



I have on only one layer, a under armor top (you know, spandex) so it hugs everything and Mister Squee has his big hands wrapped around my now much smaller waist and hips.



"I mean there's nothing there," He says; meaning the middle of my body. "You were small and lost weight and then regained some and now it is just all gone again. How did that happen? How did that happen so fast?"



I choose; *Rhetorical question! No need to answer." I kiss his neck and smile.



Never confess friends. Not even if your delicious meaty husbands hands are on ya! He's such a Sexy Beast

!



The last few days I have felt the center of my body spring back into shape, like tightening and firming. I can almost see a six pack and in 5 more pounds at 119, I will see it. I was that small at 17. And I felt remarkable power in my body all the time. I want that back now. Not later. Willing to suffer to get there.



And suffer I have.



For a couple days feeling like I was going to pass out. I'm not drinking enough lemonade (Read; almost none .. bad bad bad girl!) and I am pushing each SWF and enemas. Toxins could not be shoved out any faster. I really do not recommend what I am doing unless you are an advanced faster and have been a raw and fruity vegan for a number of years.



But (Butt) it has taken a lot of size specifically off the center of my body.



Two days ago at the gym I stayed in the sauna for 40 minutes and then almost passed out about 4 different times. My period, doesn't really actually seem to want to stop. It's cleansing my girlie parts, but it is quite weakening to tell the truth. I have been resting as much as I can. And watching mukbangs. But not of vegans. Only food I would never ever eat. Not tempted at all by food I would not eat. It's relaxing though. Watching other people binge eat is making me a size true size 2.



This morning a massive amount of slime rope worm ... whatever it is ... all slithered out ... bright fluorescent yellow. Tht's bile from fat being burned by the way. When your butt pee is bright yellow? Bile. Liver. I would say that the worm like stuff was two feet long easily.



I feel much much better now.



Last night I was pretty sure I was going to need to stop the cleanse. Now I feel better.





Two days ago Mister Squee said, "You're so thin! You want ... a donut?"



Like an idiot I started to talk about yelp's top 10 donut shops in Pasadena. There's one that is in Le Ghetto that I have always seen and wondered why they had so many people in there. I tell him about the yelp reviews, cause face it ... yelp is hilarious.



And of course, post gym, he insists on taking me there even though I told him I don't eat donuts anymore.



"Do I want a donut? No, I don't want one donut. I want twelve thousand donuts. I want to eat donuts til I get sick. Because donuts are addictive and make false promises. I'll end up weighing 800 pounds. I'll be trapped in trailer and they will have to come cut me out while Richard Simmons yells, "Just put down the donuts Squeegy!" ... AND ... see ... I have always wanted to meet Richard Simmons."



"So? No? No donut?"



"No donut."



And .... in an hour .....There we are. Outside of Pasadena's best donut-a-ria. There's a party store there with a series of pinatas. Donald Trump piñata. Obama piñata. No Hillary though. Is it bad showmanship to beat her with a bat til candy flies out? Is it too sexist? Should I be upset? I need answers.



We walk into the donut shop and He looks around ... it looks like ... you could get ebola. He says, "This is it? This is all the donuts? I'm not impressed." I say, "Great, let's go home."





As a non donut non sabotage-ing aside .... That sauna probably helped fry the worm thing outta my guts.






Yesterday Mister Squee walks thru the kitchen and I hug him. He says, "You're tiny! So skinny! Want me to get you .... some ... pie?"



"Pie? Ewww gross no."

(I've never liked pie. I don't understand pie. That creepy crust and then pudding ... ew)





So. It looks like it's gunna be an uphill battle. But I do love to run up hills.



Weight 124

You're my inspiration during this cleanse! Well done on yet another successful day. You're almost at your goal! I so admire your willpower especially around food and your creative ways of keeping Mr Squee in the dark (lol)

Day 32 Master Cleanse



Weight 124



I'm the same weight. But I lost a bunch of size. Over my ribs. I am starting to recognize this body as my teenage body and I couldn't be happier! It is a delight! I see hip bones. I see a nearly fat stomach. I see way less cellulite.



Seriously so so many years wanting *this* body back. It was buried under fat. You can't image how fast 1-2 pounds changes your body when you have a lower BMI. Like how thread seems to spin faster as you get to the end. It is just crazy. A five pound loss now is like a 20 pound loss when I was say ... 160's.



This teenage body needs a lot of exercise and light eating. I think I can do it. I really do. Daily weighs ins are us! And face facts when you come off a master cleanse too much food will make you nauseous.



Happy Happy!! The clothes! The clothes all fit so so well ! Adorable!




Well actually, I could be happier if I had more energy and less physical pain. But LONG GAME here ya know! See the future? I see it.



Mister Squee is filled with admiration. And has no clue how this happened. LOL!!! OMG. I mean. I'm glad. He was not meant to know. NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW HOW THE SAUSAGE IS MADE. (or how women get thin and stay thin) (Except people ae endlessly fascinated with thin. And accept lies incredibly easily.)



I remember having such huge amounts of energy on my last 40 day cleanse and this time? No way. It's not fun at all. It's the suck of suck.. Then it sucks more.



I did manage to thrift shop again today and it was amazing! (38 cents an item!) It is one of the kind of speed thrifting with dealers that I did for years. My hands and eyes are well rained now. I can see and feel quality fast. I however haven't even had a try on session yet. The stuff is still in bags cause I want to really enjoy the try on and have some energy. Probably in the morning. I have never ever ever not tried stuff on or left stuff in the bag after thrifting! OMG I must be so so tired. It is funny how when I am done, I am just done, Like climb in bed and ice my stomach and try to relax. It's rough.



I have managed to get four drinks in today by using sparkling water. I also drink it fast. Highest recommendations if you are sick to death of lemonade. It's actually good! I can't believe it! I'd love to get two more in but I am not sure I can. Nausea.





At the gym I managed 30 minutes in the sauna. I am telling Mister Squee that I am too anemic to workout. Which is probably true at this point. Bleeding has not stopped. A little bit scary. But I remember the last 10 days of 40 days as being scary if I am honest. I started crying at one point in the sauna. Tiny Dancer by Elton John made me cry.



I know how hard it will be to maintain this size. But I LOVE it.



I feel like I have a fever. Puke-oid.



Tomorrow Mister Squee works so I can have alone time. I'm so glad. I need complete relaxation. Wouldn't it be so great if we could all just sleep thru all this? Wake up thin!!



Yesterday I took apart a huge jackfruit. It took a couple hours. It's a flower! The fruit is wonderful, like eating juicy fruit gum. Juicy fruit gum is based in jackfruit. I got five quart sized bags outta this very ripe fruit. I could smell it! I knew it was ripe. The other will take awhile.

Frozen now!



And I made Russian spice cookies, vegan style. Hubs loves those and I converted a Russian recipe. We have the wrong kind of flour though, we need self rising flour and I have no clue where to buy that. Still. I'm impressed cooked food still does not tempt me even after a frekin month of drinking lemonade.






I am going to eat again one day. After tomorrow, the maximum time left will be a week. I try to just stay in the moment you know? Easier. I have cravings. I cannot watch any vegan shows or see pictures of what food I would eat, Makig Mister Squee salad is harder than making him egg burritos! Cause ewww egg burritos yuck.



Don't get me wrong, everything smells amazing.



Using my most soothing perfume tonight.



Wish I would stop having the period that wouldn't die.

Your dress sounds glorious! Oh what FUN! What fun! Currently all alone in the house so I can do a righteous chick flick style try on session while watching that Sex in the City movie! So much fun, so much estrogen!

And I am sure you do not look like a sausage casing friend!

I know what you mean about you and I being the last survivors after the Zombie MC Apocalypse. But I really will be here thru your entire cleanse and after because my focus is shifting to aftercare. I need to be sure to keep this weight off. I know series of cleanses is best, but I am so sick of losing the same weight over and over ... granted each time I get better. But still....

Having a human body! What a pain!

I'm really looking forward to seeing what I bought ... as I barely remember. I bought 57 items in 60 minutes. It was $15 total. Some of it is for sewing projects and some is for little ole me! I got a dress by the brand ixia that is a pinup style ... they cost about 100-60$ and I have looked at that brand again and again! Made in the USA too! I'll have to add some length to it ... but it is such a huge score!

Oh yes! You speak-a my language! Coolripa is so so cool! I love her and I do transformations too. I pay ... far less than her because of the area we live in and I'm crazy cheap. (I really don't *need* anything but *wanting* is different!) I figure if it is $1and under ...

The clothes I tried on were a roaring success. I had a friend coming over and she is probably ... 270ish pounds, older than me, in pain all the time. She's so darling but I didn't want to look "too thin" so I had to pick out an outfit quickly that gave me some bulk and she still had lots to say about my weight. About how as I get older I'll get fat and be in pain all the time. Same old song and dance. I swear I had to roll my eyes three times when she wasn't looking.

She was one who before I started this journey (like three years ago) was happy when I complained of pain all over my body. Seriously she was delighted.

She brings me boxes of donuts sometimes and I take them to the Produce guys at the store I shop at. To bribe them. Cause hello ... bribery works! And I don't eat donuts.

Whatever. People make their choices.

The size 2 Trina Turk dress pants fit me over a pair of leggings with room in the waist. And older pair of Barney's New York pants in a size 4 also fit loose. The 6's look bad, too loose. So it's all good in the neighborhood, is exactly what I want!

Perfect..

The Ixia dress is adorable! I mean keep in mind some of this stuff cost 20 cents and some $1 ... and I bought it all so fast. Alexander Wang even! So many scores and stuff I can transform! One of the best things I have done was make myself a heavy denim quilt. It is a weighted quilt which helps brain injury, migraine, anxiety, depression, even autism and sensitive personalities. Such a blessing it has been. With 10-20% of a person's body weight plus 1-2 pounds they get clinical effects! So it is a healing modality!

I use some of the demin I bought yesterday for 20 cents. I love it when I find huge jeans cause that makes great pieces for these quilts. Very good stuff. I store all that stuff in ur creepy basement!

I have had 4 lemonade drinks today and it's only 1 pm! Going well!

Master Cleanse Day 33



Episode; And then I gave Birth to an Alien Egg ....




So horrid pain for three days is over.




My body just released a egg shaped ball of mucus. Hard and the size of a large quail egg. It was in a toilet bowl of slime and stringy junk. Big round egg shaped thing why you try to kill Squeegy? What planet did you come from you gross effer? OK well. Hope you enjoyed the human body hospitatlity and now ... um the septic tank.




I do always wonder how long the slime had been in residency and what it truly was!




For the three days ....I kept having visuals in my head, twilight type sleep-dream info intuition that kept showing me a freakin' egg. Funny how literal that is right?




So disgusting and so great that that is gone.




I feel much better.




AND I know I will feel even better after another SWF later this morning. (as an aside the SWF today was wretched I almost threw up ... I didn't wait long enough .... so thankful for it but ... holy hell it is rough)




Yesterday I was too tired to even unpack my thrift scores! hahhhaa oh gosh. It was scary, those three days. Pain and packed with doubt. You can get really freaked out by pain. I was pretty sure I just had to wait it out. And I am pretty good at waiting. I packed my abdomen in ice packs and used a heating pack. I rested. I know this. You cannot stop a healing crisis or end a fast when you feel sick and weak. If you do, the healing crisis carries on anyhow. It doesn't make it better to break the fast then. I swear this is true. You kind just have to suck it up, ignore your thoughts and let time heal.




Fever seems to be gone. Abdomen is soft again. It was very hardened and painful. I remain nauseous at times and then hot the toilet and feel ok again. I would say this happens ... 7-9 times a day.




I don't feel like I can't see or like I am going deaf. Those neurological symptoms are scary man. But considering that my goal is to clean up the entire gut so I can reach inside my brain and once and for all 100% cure trigeminal neuralgia as the result of being electrocutes, it is to be expected. Good thing I am brave. Freakin' Braveheart over here on a Master Cleanse.




I would think that a person cannot read enough about the way fasting works. Because when it gets really tough, you need backup. And the education you can get by reading and studying is invaluable. There is also so much information about the Master Cleanse out there. Some of it is silly nonsense of course. I mean no one expects me to have respect for a person who never reads the original text and several backup books do they? Fools! Idiots! Crazy People! (and not crazy in a good way)




Blows my mind how many people read two sentences on the internet and then lunch into a lemon-y disaster. Then they are the loudest critics.







Today I have on Taylor Swift's Wonderlnd perfume. Which smells like tea and spices. Perfume is great for soothing emotions.




After today? One more week. But again, I refuse to even travel a week ahead. All that is ahead of me right now is a weigh in and a SWF.



Today's weight 123.7 same low weight as the last time I did a 40 day cleanse on day 40. Today is Day 33. So hopefully I am sittin' pretty! We shall see!

Day 34



Weight 122.6



Lowest weight in my adult history. Great! Except for the nausea and the neurological migraine headache. I have finally stopped fighting it and have gone into the dark bedroom, with icepacks, a heat pack and I took an Excedrin migraine. I haven't needed that stuff in years and years. I haven't had a neurological migraine in easily three years.



I spent about 25 minutes in a crazy hot sauna today.



I am craving devilled eggs. And I am vegan and raw! It's because as these cells move out, as false man leaves, it reactivates all the old cravings. Since I have NEVER been this low in weight as an adult, I am expecting this to get ... umm really rough. And if I am wrong, I'll be happy!



I can see the remaining fat I have on my "love handles" that came in between 16 and 18 years old. Like fat pads over the hips above yer butt? Sacroilliac! A little weight still on my belly too. But BUTT I am very thin for me. Slim. Slender. Beautiful! LOVE!



Too bad it hurts so much. It's incapacitated me today. If I stay still, I won't vomit. This is my thinking. Earlier it felt like I went deaf and blind. There's so much mucus coming outta my eyes! OMG. I finally took out my contacts it was so bad. And lotsa mucus by mouth. Tongue looking a bit pinker ... encouraging!



This morning with the SWF I was all "Help me Jesus!" Then I felt like I was able to look hi straight in his big blue compassionate eyes and it was not as bad. I used to ray to the Angels of Mercy, but ... now it's the Big Guy himself.



I hope this is gone by morning.



I have managed 6 drinks a day now for two days only by using sparkling water and putting cayenne in last. Then I drink it fast. It's not too bad, I think mainly just the dread is what is throwing me. I am not savoring it that is for sure. And LOL ... I don't even want to LOOK at a salt bottle or the teaspoons I use to measure it with. hahahah it gets so yucky at the end ... trying to think positive. AND there's so many positives.



So many.



Tomorrow I will have the house to myself for a bit ... so that is great. AND tomorrow it will be a mere ... 5 days left at the end right?



Bravery! Courage!

No one is going to hand you a new body. You. You must go and get it yourself. (It's there. It is. Believe it. See it!)



It is an inside job. Do it Yourself. You can't hire anyone. You can't get it in a pill. You can't even buy it. Believe me I tried. I tried it all. Once I finally gave up, and stopped expecting help, it began to unfold. Years of answers in seconds.



You are surrounded by food that isn't food. It's poison. Poison for humans and it is sold in plain sight and celebrated as if it is health creating. You are told to eat steak if you are anemic, You are told milk will help your teeth. You are told extra protein in powders and bars will help you grow muscles. LIES. Absolutely completely unequivocally; lies. Too much protein, esp eating animals or their fluids? Gives. You. Cancer. (see; The China Study)



There's chemicals in our "food" that cause cancers. Well known and often ignored.



Food is legally packaged to cause obesity. Marketing teams package food to perpetuate gluttony and make one package contain 100 servings. A team of Scientists tell McDonald's how to pipe in the same smell all over the world to get people to buy more. To associate that smell with "childhood ad fulfilment."



Cooked food, addictive and the most addictive substance on the planet. Hard to stop. (but you can!)



I am talking about slowly desensitizing people til they think continuously eating meat, dairy, grains, cooked and chemical food is normal and good. The shock of finding out that NONE of that is healthy? Was horrifying to me. Watching a 55 day long green juice (and watermelon) heal my body when I started down this path was astonishing.



And each day, I become more amazed. The shock doesn't really go away. I stand in front of huge cookbook sections next to diet books, next to health books written by Doctors who are not healthy and I am astonished I escaped. And. To most people, my escape, is invisible.



I left the Matrix. It was sudden. It was irreversible. I suddenly knew, no one was going to help me save my own life.



Telling people the truth, scares them in the Matrix. They are apt to call me insane or cultish rather than watch their whole world collapse. I threaten to kick out their foundation. I might start an Earthquake that destroys their denial.



Can I blame them? I was once a Zombie. I remember thinking after years and years of egg white protein and "clean protein: and excessive exercise ... "I must not have given it enough time. Maybe I need to try harder?"



Now I have to laugh! Now? If it doesn't work in 10 days ... I change and get it right. But now I have the correct information.



Pain will happen, but a sense of humor and lightness can happen at the same time.



Big difference between pain and suffering.



Knowing that as you choose to fast you spin the clock in the opposite direction is amazing. That health concerns previously thought "incurable" vanish. Feeling even the pain of toxins leaving or sweating your way thru a healing crisis? Brave. Takes courage. Don't chicken out Girlscout.



Make the fast your first and only priority and you cannot fail.