Master Cleanse Forum - Master Cleanser Lemonade Diet

Day 27 Master Cleanse




How much longer do I have to be on the Master Cleanse? Only the tongue knows. And the tongue? We could interrogate her. We could water board her. But ... She 'aint talkin!




She wants to be that bright strawberry pink. But as is? She's a bit green. Around the gills.




The lax tea can wake me up at 2-3 am. Then it's two to three rounds of poo my friends. The less you are hydrated the worse you'll cramp. So stay extremely hydrated. Lately I have been doing 2-3 water enemas when this happens and then a coffee enema, retention for 10-15 minutes. This helps the liver clear toxins and the gall bladder. I passed gallstones early on and now, I got nuthun Lebowski. Nothin. I just started doing these and I started after the Master Cleanse was full on disabling me. There's a flow of toxins that has to be shown the back door as quickly as possible or you WILL re-toxify the system. It sounds ridiculous. And untrue. But, BUTT, it is true.




I have been like a giant French press for days and days. I drink anything and it comes out almost immediately. I'll feel heavy nausea, go to pee and stuff just gushes out all over. Butt Pee is Me. Then I feel better. Then I do it all over again. This is why people get bored. Many quit due to boredom. Don't quit. Don't Eat. Keep your promise to yourself. They often stop because there is a sameness to the days. Repetition that will grind you down. I say, let it make you a diamond and shine on. Crazy Diamind, shine on. (all and all we're just another brick in the wall!)




My Mother the school teacher likes the line, "Hey! Teacher! Leave those Kids Alone!" Personally I sort of think she my have no idea what that means? But I am probably underestimating her intelligence. She sings that when the ong come on!




This is the heaviest toxin release I have felt in the over three years I have been working on detox. I am grateful. I am glad I have learned so much. Pulling this off for my body is a great victory,




The coffee I can actually feel my liver and gall bladder kinda grab, suck up and then there's much right sided gurgling. I mean it feels like I'm an aquarium and the bubble machine is on full blast. It's great though cause my right side hurt for 15 years. Undiagnose-able, they said they said.




I plan to do a coffee enema a day as long as I keep on the Master Cleanse. It's just too fast a toxin release for me otherwise. And that is with the lax tea AND the SWF. I have upped the salt and the water on the SWF even. An ocean wave.




But Toxin City is not a Good Place to live friends. This could be because I am made up of better stuff now (aka my living high vibrating cells are fruit and raw veggies now) and the body feels fine throwing the most toxic tar, lead, plutonium outta me now.




It's all speculative. I would LOVE it if there was a real Scientific peer reviewed study done of people on the Master Cleanse. But (BUTT) considering that there's not even much hard information on something like 80-10-10? I think it is not that realistic to expect me to get what I want here as far as data, charts and numbers. So far scientists eating a ton of junk food and cooked food seem intent on poking harmless lab animals to death and calling it Science. mofos.




The Dark Ages. Welcome.




Speaking of which. The Dark Side. The evil within. The demons. The ghouls. The bad "dreams" .. they come for you as you go deep into this modality. The best advice I can give you? Welcome them and have a good long conversation with these terrifying suckers. You don't get thru this, without actually getting thru it. 'Hi My Demons. We should Talk. Now and then let us have a conversation face to face." Never deny the darkness. It only gets stronger when you do that.




If you can't sleep, just relax about it. It is ok. Sometimes people don't sleep. Then they sleep ton. New studies show people do indeed bank up sleep.










Cry at any opportunity you are handed. Seriously. Sob it out. It helps. Most of what makes me cry is the softness, the love, and the compassion of humans to one another. To see someone ease suffering of another being makes me cry. It gives me relief. Temporarily.




This week I have said to myself about 100 times. "I will NEVER forget how much this hurts. I will NEVER forget the PAIN>" Cause there's a lot of raw unfiltered pain here. But (Butt) I knw that I will forget. Because I am only a human. Flesh and blood and my brain is designed to forget and move on.




One direction. Boy Band and a truism. Doesn't get better. One direction. Forward. Now. One moment. This moment.




In a couple days it will be the Great Sale day on Jackfruit! Three pounds for $1. If I could I would live on Fresh figs, jackfruit and bananas. And weeds and greens and roses. Like the fairy that I am.




Standing in the Grocery Store line with sparkling water. I say to Mister Squee, "I am so glad I don't know any of these people on these tabloids anymore." The lady behind me giggles and we share a smile.




The entire mountain covered in thick white clouds. You cannot see the now green mountain from the storm. It is ice freezing cold. Gonzo, apple headed Siamese has a coat on now like a Snow Leopard. I ask him about his life in the high up Himalayas and he purrs and blinks kisses at me. The sun is brilliant and so bright it hurts my eyes.




I am walking down a busier road, and I see a huge white SUV with a Dog Driving. white standard poodle. It is smiling as it flies past me. The dog is sitting in the owners lap. So unsafe and yet hilarious. I laugh til tears come. So wrong. So funny.

127 pounds! Twenty pound down! PARTAY!

Still Day 27? I think. hahah where am I!? Maybe it is still day 26 ...






I have my period. I have cramps. It's the second period of this cleanse. Which makes sense. Cleansing man, cleansing.



I have not had enough sleep. Big Big No No. Also not enough lemonade.



HOWEVER. I have so many good things to share. Temporary discomfort aside. I am snuggled in bed with a heating pad and lovely snoring Siamese Cats. All is well No appetite.



Today I went to a $1 sale at Goodwill. I love big holidays cause they have this sale and it is amazing fun. I budgeted $10 ... and stuck to my budget. Which is a huge success!



I won't lie. Things look fantastic when you lose twenty pounds. Everything fits better. Stuff looks adorable! It is so much fun!



The coffee enemas maybe ... the shopping have made me feel super hyper today. I mean like drink your chamomile tea hyper. Calm down Squeegy!



(My hubs has not noticed I don't eat ... CRAZY! hahah whatever ... I don't want him to and I have on my cloaking device. Set to High, maximum!)





I bought two fantastic things from Anthropologie. Could you die? That store is heart breakingly beautiful. A skirt and a dress. the dress looks like a fabulous dessert! I am ready for my age 15 "coming out as a woman" Party now. It seriously, this dress, looks like a white frosted cake. The skirt is a Winter Skirt which I need as it is colder than a witches' titty over here. It is layers of lace, tulle and some applique.




I bought a pair of jeans that is very skinny, made for teens and looks like a Laura Ashley floral print. A rag and bone T-shirt that originally cost $85! A season of Rachel Zoe because she's ridiculous and I love how insanely LA that stupid show is.



I bought a coat that was $759 originally by a French Designer. A hippie dress by Sanctuary that is so so soft, I feel like I don't even have clothes on. Three pairs of shoes. Sperry topsiders. Stuart Weitzman gold heels and a pair of massive wedges from Steve Madden! Long live sexy heels!



My feet ... seem to be ... continuing to shrink. Which is insane! I had swollen feet friends. My Mother told me for years that my feet were wide. Um. No. Lies. Musta been the horrible SAD diet she had me on. Toxins in my feet. I remember at my slimmest ( I was 17) I used to exercise like a crazy woman, and then be so tired when I got home I would eat ... like peas. Or corn and pass out. Then wake up and do it all over again. Endorphins will always be my addiction. Thank goodness!



Also thrifted a huge plate (for my future salads I think) (And veggies) that is thick thick glass, with ornate roses. Wavy edges. Weighs a TON. Great quality! I'm thrilled. I grow roses and am a Rosarian.



But the main thing you probably wanna know is this.



The pain. Is temporary. The hungry, ebbs and flows and vanishes. The measurements shifting daily is just ... astonishing. Yes this is the fastest way to lose weight. I can tell you that with authority cause omwtfbbq have I not tried in my life to lose weight? All of it. The time I could have saved! *regret!* It is also the fastest way to heal things that won't heal on food.



I took phen-fen at one particularly insane point. No one cared that people were dropping dead. I certainly didn't! I was all "You will take these diet pills from my cold dead hands!" It was so sick. And the diet products. The addiction to diet coke, which is long gone. The coffee, also an addiction long gone. I worked for Weight Watchers for a time and sold people tiny microwave meals. Yes you can look like meeee if you eat this junk. SO SAD. People were very offended by my fatness. I mean. Like. They would mention it. Or like "when are you due?" Even my Mom tried once to have a conversation with me about my weight. I get so ... sad thinking about that.





Just terrible, all of it.



So. The point is. It's painful. But I can manage the pain. At this point it's more important to me to keep my promises than to GIVE UP. I'm not giving up . I mean I do wanna cry. Don't get me wrong when I say it hurts ... it hurts! But ... I have had so much physical pain, emotional pain, spiritual pain in the past ... I know I can do it.



The mirrors at the Goodwill do suck. BUT ... omg ... so much better. What a huge difference and what a short period of time. It is so so so exciting. If my uterus wasn't trying to stab me to death, I would do a jig. I do feel nauseous from the cramps.



My overall happiness has increased. I have a wonderful secret.



Tomorrow I see PinkBerry at 10 am. She will have questions. Sticking to ... hard workouts at the gym and running this time. I can't risk the ... same situation again. Maybe she won't say a word! That would be cool.



And frankly even when I am eating my lovely fruit and raw veggies .. my period still sucks the suck of suck. Don't get me wrong, it is so much better than it was three years ago. I mean so much better. Sometimes only two very light days. I'm on the rag. ha!



My body healed this deep scar on my left leg. I dropped a piece of a tree on it when I was Attila The Hun-ning that garden. It gashed open my leg. Blood all over. I would say that scar was ... fairly deep, and it left a kind of indentation. Master Cleanse just filled it in and the scar is gone. I was ... really shocked.



My finger that I cut to the bone no longer fires up that nerve. I would say this will end up healing to 100%. Right now I have to feel for the tenderness. Maybe 20% remains. I could wake up tomorrow and have no pain at all! It's so amazing!



The day I started coffee enemas, next day I got a strange pimple on my cheek. It looked all random and ... big and I thought about using cover-up, but I couldn't care enough. It's gone now. It looked like an angry spider bit me. (oh also going vegan made me like spiders ... how amazing is that?)



My hair got thicker and very very long. That always happens on MC but it is still very nice. Along with skin that looks lit up from the inside by a perfect form of moonlight. Astonishing.



My eyes and ears have both been effected during this cleanse. Which is a great sign for someone who wants to heal a head injury. I have had ear wax like there is no tomorrow. Sticky and thick.



I'd like to go make more raw sauerkraut but I do not have it in me. The sauna at the gym is wonderful. I wish I were in it right now. Hubs has a migraine and I feel .. lonely I guess? I really wanted that shopping trip to last forever. It was so wonderful!



Stay the course. The weight loss is great. But it's always been about health for me. Always. I still have disgusting crap oozing outta me. My sweat literally smells like acid. I guess. The main thing I want to say is that I am so grateful to Stanley Burroughs from his lifetime dedicated to trying to wake up the humans. He really was ... so maligned. So unfair. I feel like Doctors should teach this. But for now I will say a prayer that Stanley has the biggest lemon angel wings in all of Heaven!

Congrats on the 127lbs! Well done! I cannot tell you how much I'm enjoying your posts. I know I shall be rereading them again when I feel my motivation waning. I was vicariously shopping along with you and delighting every time you bought something.
btw - thank you for so thoughtfully suggesting floradix. It's on my list of things to buy! <3

Day 28 Master Cleanse


You know how you are like .... *weird situation just happened ...* And then you think ... *Did that just happen?"





I'm in the women's locker room at the gym in a stall cause I have to pee for the 50th time. I came to get into the sauna because I am so cold my feet ache. It will take 20 minutes at 170 degrees to make me warm again.



I hear two girls having a conversation in their stalls.



"So do you LOVE them?"



"I really do like them!"



"I told you you would LOVE them. And they are sexy!"



"Yeah but so much money! $110!"



"So worth it. So worth it. Investment Girl! Invest! You know Lulu Lemon legging are expensive but they get the attention!"



I walk out to wash my hands.



The girls who come out of the stalls are probably about .... a size 14. Both in Lulu Lemon. Black leggings and they match. They have diagonal netting across the ass-hip and down the thighs. They look fine to me, but not worth the $110.



Girls in leggings see me as I see them.



Girl in legging love is staring at her butt in the mirror and says, "I don't wanna gain any more weight you know?"



"So maybe lose some?" Replies Matchy.



"Well," says Legging Investment Girl as she looks at me, "I don't want to be SKINNY."



And then they storm away. Like I did something unthinkable to them. In my velour track pants. With my apparently reads as SKINNY body now.



I look in the mirror and think ... "Yeah that was about me. Hahaha whatever .... SUCK IT."





Was quite a moment really.



Why can't women just stop doing this to other women?

I like that we can define Glam LA life as spending $10 at the $1 sale at Goodwill. *laughing forever!*

I am so so thankful for my new coat ... it's been so so cold and rainy here.

OK so today is Day 28. I had to recount

I have been on MC for four weeks! Wow!

I am about to go do a massive SWF and then relax for awhile.

I weigh 125.8 today!