i'm feeling anxious today. i am gearing up to move on may 1st and i have all kinds of conflicting emotions about it. i am happy to get out of my current living situation (which is the source of much stress for me) and yet i am sad because i could not fix the situation. it was irreparable and the only healthy thing to do was to move on. nonetheless, i'd be lying if i didn't admit to some complicated feelings about it.
i have been dealing with those feeling for about two weeks now. i have just been allowing them to "be'....feeling them, but not trying to analyze them too much.....knowing that a little time and distance will do much for the situation and allow me to gain much needed perspective.
what is coming up for me is fear about the actual move. packing boxes, sorting through my things, physically getting them from one place to another, logistical concerns, getting help, setting up my new place...etc. etc. i know to take to break it down into baby steps and then to take it one step at a time. i know that my feelings are in part because of the complexity of this particular situation....the circumstances under which i am moving.....and also in part because moving is just plain stressful....no matter what the circumstances.
for some reason i'm worried that i won't get it all done. and here is the somewhat irrational part -- that i won't be able to be as organized in my packing as i like to be. (i have a system where i pack "zones' in clear plastic labeled containers ie 'bathroom" or "desk'. for misc. stuff, i number cardboard boxes and have a master list with all the box contents etc.). i have yet to start packing. it might be more easier than i imagine, but i feel like i need to do a little organizing before i can even get started packing. i'm looking at a mound of laundry as i speak
i need to reach deep down and use some of the strength i discovered i had while cleansing for 21 days and apply it to this situation. i can DO this. i know i can. i want to think positively and take action.
i am going to go to the gym right now for a bit of relaxation and "me" time. then i'm going to pick up my plastic storage totes/tubs from my friend attic where i store them. i will work on some packing this afternoon and possibly some laundry. my goal is to pack 5 boxes today. then, i have plans to go out with a friend tonight. this sounds like a balanced day to me.
wish me luck
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