Day 13 Master Cleanse.
Back into the Jaws of the Shark. It feels like what I would imagine a shark bite would feel like when the current Master Cleanse detox gets ahead of me. I managed to stave it off using enemas, for awhile. Long enough to get the work done I needed to do. But now, Jaws has me and I need a bigger boat. The enemas took the leg pain away thankfully. I feel like that pain is connected to the 15 years of abdominal pain I had there right sided, lower quad where my appendix lives. Thankfully no one took it from. Like My. Tonsils. Said the bitter girl with no tonsils.
I told Mister Squee a few weeks ago that I was 12 and asked my Mother not to remove my tonsils, begged in fact. But they left me in the hospital and those Bastages yanked them. They brought them to show me, in a little jar afterwards. I remember thinking, "What kind of sick effers do this *here's your tonsils kid!" to a child? What kind of Big Flat Earth is this?" I plan on regrowing my tonsils. For the record.
Mister Squee, much amused by this telling. He said, "That's the weirdest thing, that when we were underage that our insane parents were actually able to do whatever they wanted to us. We had no choice, even when we asked, they did what they wanted to."
I have plenty of choices now, don't I? I sit next to him on the bed as he eats Ben and Jerry's and I can smell the whole, "Not a Vegan ... yet-ness" of the situation. It's not a criticism, because criticizing never works anyhow. Observation is all.
When this master cleanse is over, when the tongue goes pink, when true hunger returns .... I have a feeling, it's gone to be such a major turning point in our relationship. I really do. And if it isn't? *sound of sadly deflating balloon*
Massive amounts of mucus and slime, straight up slime continue to exit the Back Stage Area of my body. Usually at 1-3 am which is not at all my idea of a good time. I saw another gallstone in the wee small hours of the morning. That makes 18. Now it is old enough to keep its tonsils.
I have been using my cheaters lazy person version of a castor oil pack. Which basically involves rubbing it on my right side and down my right leg. I just got a new bottle of castor oil. Which means that last bottle lasted over two years. A little goes a long way.
I look really good and I feel like poo. My hair has grown like crazy. My skin looks like I come from Planet Sun. When I have no detox symptoms I am twelve thousand feet tall and there is strength and stability in my colon. I sleep like I remember sleeping as maybe ... I dunno ... a two year old? Everything gets warm and feels like it heals in a bionic way.
These lemons are not taking any prisoners. They are the homegrowns from Margaret my Lemon Tree. She introduced herself when plants suddenly became very very chatty with me. Seriously they talk alot. They should rename Roses, "Chatty Cathy, clip your string!" After all a rose by any other name ....
Anyhow. I have never done an entire cleanse on on her lemons. I wasn't using the lemons for a long time, so these have been hanging like so many chads, waiting for me to accept the answers when I asked the question. Strong as heck. I remember when I started detox and healing journey one lemon would knock me out. That was 2.5 years back. Now it takes 6. Progress. The excellent thing about he Master Cleanse is that it can get better when you have strong symptoms really spontaneously. I haven't quite ever felt that with other modalities. It can be bad times 100 and then 10 minutes later, it passes. Sometimes literally.
I have learned NOT to double up on Master Cleanse drinks. Bartender, do not gimme a double. One per hour seems like plenty, so I try not to get behind. By 5 pm I am often done-zo and there's no more Room at the Inn.
I wanted to tell you this. Your mind is MUCH stronger than your flesh. My mind will not be swayed. I made up my mind and the body can throw all the weird cravings it wants to at me. *last night hot dogs? ummm yeah not happening, but thanks for playing the "Look up the word Vegan in the Dictionary* creepy cravings." I can sit next to Hubs as he eats and it doesn't bug me. I will not be moved. You know, you and what army Mister Demonic Cravings?
I got this way by winning the smaller battles over the last 2.5 years. Every day I resisted the cravings and stayed raw, I got stronger. ESP on major Holidays. If you do it right when it gets hard, you gain much more than a day to day easy peasy lemon squeezy. Every single meal, every piece of fruit makes you stronger in your mind and determination to heal. Make no mistake, we're all going to the top. I don't care if I drag myself in by the fingernails, it's happening. The finish line is closer than you think.
Starting weight 149 Day 13 weight 135.8
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