I wrote this March 8th ....
So? How'd ya measure up?
I broke my Master Cleanse after Day 35.
I'm now strong enough to basically tear out a wall in my house, pick up a car and throw it down the block and probably can now run straight up a tree like a cat without claws.
This cleanse. Was. Disgusting. Exhausting. I used to have these daydreams that I would be invited to say my Mother's Cabin in the woods in New Mexico. (Little Red Riding Hood; the story of a very rude young girl who invades the territory of a perfectly legit Wolf ...) I dreamed that all my responsibilities would be lifted and I could just fast there, all Master and Cleanse-y and it would all be so much easier. Right?
But it's never like that. Unless Jason Vale needs you for a movie, it's something that ... I had to basically steal the time for. I barely made it thru my work and family obligations. And in fact I played sick many more days than I care to admit on this one.
It really should be called 35 days of Liver Cleansing. Make your liver quiver two dollah make you hollah!
I faked all kinds of stuff and it was all worth it.
Because now I'm superhero strong again. The gym and hours of exercise at home.
I broke with oranges and watermelon juice and now all I crave is greens. Huge salads with apple, carrot, cucumbers are in my immediate future. I bought 13 pounds of cucumbers for $2.38 off an ugly table. It's great. And I don't know a horse who likes carrots more than I do right now. No cravings for bananas.
I feel amazing. AH-MAY-Zing.
Higher than high.
Energy swung back into me faster than I could say, "Let's all have a huge salad for breakfast!"
I only want the greenest food. The apples, the carrots, OHhh the carrots!
Being intensely spoiled by California, I have fresh picked oranges, lemons and grapefruit. I never wanna see a lemon, lax tea (or any kind of tea actually) and salt ever again. (til next time)
I have so much energy, I can't sleep. I worked out for ... a really really long time today. Like olden times. Like no time in recent memory. About three hours. Tracy Anderson kicked my butt. Literally she had me on my knees tilting a leg as if I were trying to snap it outta the leg socket. I'm a Lego woman. Then kicking in a strange way for only ten minutes but BUTT now my butt hurts ... in a good way.
The kittens love it when I roll out a sticky yoga mat and try to invade their territory on the ground. They both are two years old now, 9.3 pounds and masters of silliness and walking up the walls. They legit look upset when Gravity wins 30% of the time ...
"I'm a tiny penny rolling up the walls inside ..."
My finger that I severed the nerve in with a razor blade cutter no longer hurts. It remains also my most perfect fingernail and shaped finger. I say to Mister Squee, "Maybe this is why women who do lots of cooking always have the prettiest hands? They accidentally have cut ever finger nearly off in their lifetimes?"
He nods thoughtfully.
I am not exhausted at all. During this MC, I was deeply exhausted. As soon as I started the Orange Juice, It was as if I was living on the surface of the sun. Intense energy. I'm trying to manage it. Thru exercise.
Exhaustion was a major reason I started another MC. This was the sixth Master Cleanse I have done! Ten days, 40 days twice, 24 days, 17 days and now 35 days. I didn't eat anything at all in February. Which really if you're gunna miss a month ... February is a good one to pick.
I am no longer impatient with Mister Squee when he parks the car at the gym or at the store. I have accepted that he's going to not take the obvious parking spot and that he doesn't need my help. Peace Out Girl Scout. I actually kind of enjoy this now. I don't even know how many years I suffered from that! ha! It's just ... gone. Now it feels ... kind of fascinating to watch and see what he'll do. I try to make it make sense.
EVERYONE is nicer to me when I am thinner. Believe me, it's super annoying (fat phobia sucks but is real) .... and also is super great at the same time. Duality.
Mister Squee who cannot talk about fasting can talk about weight management! Which is great!
Though he's been trying to feed me ... boo
When you are low in vitamin D, you do not want to go outside! How crazy is that?
The bad news.
My friend died.
A friend I met in 4th grade. He dropped dead of heart attack. This is. Extremely bad news. It's made me, horrifically sad. Very sad. I won't get to see him again and I spent every day with him for years. His Mother was my teacher in 6th grade. It was a tiny town we grew up in. Most of my best memories include him. It's slipping away, the grief. Like my mind will only go so far and then it distracts me. But yeah. Immediate death, no warning, no hospital, no extended re-mix.
I'd say that I am grateful. So grateful. At Thanksgiving my Cousin standing in the kitchen with me, she's "got a good healthy diet" she says ..... ( I assure you, she doesn't) ..... and she happens to have one friend, a good friend, her best friend who went vegan for health. She says, "Not as extreme as you. But you know it is good to know that raw vegan exists in case I ever do get really sick."
This. Stays with me. In case. Her words have echo-ed in my head. You know?
It's later than you think.
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