Master Cleanse Forum - Master Cleanser Lemonade Diet

I miss the story of New Mexico. The languid desert heat. The horrific food. The sky. I even miss the cattle ranch gates built into the ground. So that the cows can't escape.




I don't miss the reality. I miss the story.




I get profoundly lonely here in deeper detox. Before a worm exits, every time. And when I get sensitive to electricity again? Watch out. Danger. After being electrocuted and having Trigeminal Neuralgia, that kind of sensation scares me. And I don't scare easily. I used to actually blow out the electricity Things would break on me right after I was injured. Fire starter! She's a little fire starter!




You would think that now nearly four years in, this would all be done. It could be, I guess but I know better. When I really think about how many chronic health conditions I faced, it is seriously going as fast as it can without killing me.




A few weeks back I got Gerson obsessed. Started reading everything I could find. Implemented changes here. Lots of juicing. I did some castor oil days, I did a great many coffee enemas. I know I will master cleanse again soon, but not today.




A woman on my facebook feed had the Trigeminal Neuralgia surgery they wanted to do on me. The one that rarely works and often kills people. Of course I wish she'd tried ... bananas and greens and really changing her life. The picture freaked




A week ago six feet of worm left in 10 hours. It was very loaded with toxicity and I really just thought ... "dang. now I am insane." Then when that stuff comes out? That feeling vanishes. I bloat before and then deflate the second they are gone.




A week ago I started using roses. Internally. I make a green juice of plantain, edible weed, fresh picked and I use that to blend in rose petals from my garden. Usually it is the first thing I drink. I have found this remarkable. There's the aspect of fresness, the edible weed aspect. The fact that rose vibrate higher than any other plant on big flat Earth Rock.




Last night I woke at 1 am and had to enema ... it felt like I was on fire. First a foot long worm, then an additional three feet. And just now, 30 more inches. I won't lie. Now I am tired. once I eat ... or drink some watermelon juice there's a chance I will be revived.




Thru this all, my energy level went sky high. I cleared the garden in ways that the garden hasn't been cleared in ten years. I am talking deep pruning. Weeding. And so so fast. I had to take huge doses of vitamin D at one point to rebuild my levels. But it seems to be working. Did you know that when you are low in D, your strength will plummet? It's like ... having .... rickets junior.




Anyhow. Human rope worms. Not as uncommon as you think. I get rid of them with 90-5-5. I use water enemas and recently coffee enemas. I dry brush, cold shower, oil pull. I get sun on skin (I read a study once about how the skin on our asses is more receptive to sun! LOL! And that naked sunbathing for men, helps their testosterone levels ...)




These suckers used to come out daily when I started detox and they are still disgusting. They smell like death. Like halitosis and metal. Must be heavy metal related. So much like being crazy.




Better out than in. But (butt) a disgusting experience.




Meanwhile my intuition is thru the roof. This morning the phone ran and I knew who it was. She hasn't called in months, but I knew it was her, my mind could see her. It freaks out Mister Squee if we're sitting in the living room and the phone rings and I tell him who it is.




"How'd you do that?"




"I have ESPN."

After my seventh Master Cleanse, I switched gears. I always do, I am never not up to something. This time it was all about Gerson and castor oil. In fact intuition lead me down castor oil lane. That internal voice. I remember the first time someone told me about castor oil. I was passing gallstones and having pain. They told me to rub some on externally and even to do a proper castor oil pack. I do the lazy man's castor oil pack ... called old yoga pants and a hot pack. I was amazed when the castor oil calmed the pain. Because it's just as Mister Squeegy says, "That stuff they pushed on the kids in the Little Rascals?" Yeah that stuff really works.




So I found a Gerson blog which I read entirely really fast.

Day 1




Enough pain already. Enough swelling. Enough. Time to MC. Any time I try to plan a start date, it never works for me. I just wake up and have had enough and am ready. So doing things like wasting food is kinda the cost of doing business with a Master Cleanse.




So excited and this was so incredibly easy. High as a kite all day I got a massive amount ot work done. Fixed things around here that have needed to be fixed for years. Spent the day in utter high confidence "This is going to be easy peasy lemon squeezy." Best first day ever ...





Day 5




I was concerned about this day from the beginning because of the fact I'd be spending 12 hours in a hotel room for a conference for work. They bring lunch in. It's always either too hot or too cold. It started too early from me to be able to SWF. I ended up taking the food they gave me home for Mister Squee and he was filled with glee and delight. OK maybe not glee and delight, but he was happy. He doesn't know I am not eating. He doesn't know what a master cleanse even is.














We have a friend who is a semi famous balloon hat artist (I like how that makes us sound like we're Circus Folk ...) and years ago he came to our house and asked to pick lemons off our trees. I was still SAD Zombie then. So I coulda cared less about the lemons. He apparently told Mister Squee he had Lyme's Disease and was doing a Master Cleanse. He lost a lot of weight as men tend to do on the MC. I was unaware of any of this at the time. Funny how things change.




Anyhow I digress.




Point is I got thru the day but by the time I got home I was sick as a dog with a headache. Stuff was spinning. I was so nauseous. Did a coffee enema, laid down. Iced. Heated. Nothing really helped except distraction I'm big on distraction. It was also day 2 of my period, so that influenced everything. Day 2 of period, Master Cleanse Day 5 and a 12 hour seminar at a Radison. *sings "I Will Survive!"*




And I used grapefruit juice instead of lemon juice yesterday. Mainly cause I am down to about 15 lemons total and have no more on our trees. The neighbor up the way has three massive grapefruit trees. Most prolific most delicious white grapefruit I have ever tasted. Commercial grapefruit is yuckO, but these are nice.




So I climbed the grapefruit tree on ... day 3 .... Trust me when I say you would have climbed the tree also. I kinda slid outta the tree and scraped an arm. It didn't even bruise. Years ago it would have. And no doubt it woulda gotten infected. I am healthier. Aging (aka Time Passing) is making me stronger, faster, prettier, smarter.







I feel as if the freshly picked extremely ripe grapefruit ramped the detox up. A 14 inch long rope worm came out. I felt slightly better after that. I feel like I know when those mofos are hangn' around in me now. All dead and toxic. It seems to really effect my vision. I could barely read yesterday. Blurry City. Borrow Bubbles' Glasses and grab a kitty, it's gunna be a long day.




I also feel ok about using the grapefruit when the lemons run out as I really cannot buy the best lemons. Or anything near equivalent to the homegrown lemons. The grapefruit feel powerful. I shall see how it goes.

I did a short Master Cleanse. About 14 days. My eighth. I ran outta homegrown lemons and switched to the neighbor's homegrown grapefruit. Freakin delish! I was sure that the homegrown grapefruit would have more power and strength than the commercial lemons.




I climbed up into the grapefruit tree at one point (it's huge) and I wasn't too careful getting outta it so scraped an arm up. In a strange white place that has never had a scratch on it. It bled and bruised far less than it woulda had I still been one of the SAD Zombies wandering the Earth eating animals and animal goo. Now it is almost gone. My joy at being in a fruit tree made me a dare devil.




This morning I somehow got alerted to the fact that Starbucks iced coffee now comes with fecal matter in it. Eat shit and die, Starbucks? Do you have to be sure to mention you want yours without any fecal matter? Less poo. Giving up coffee has been the most rewarding thing. Coffee is the lifeblood of the Matrix. It'll keep you good and stuck. Along with cooked food.




A huge amount of really disgusting slime, worm, liver flukes, Unidentified parasitic goo came outta me. Yesterday it was over three feet all at once. I think there's a point where... you are just hanging on cause the ride is moving too fast and you're upside down and screaming. And you swear you're never getting on another roller coaster again.




Do weeds and roses get parasites out faster? Yes. Does massive amounts of gardening in the sun help? Yes. I have been doing hard garden work, the likes of which I needed to do for ten years. The combo of the massive rain and the windstorms here gave me plenty of work outside. I promised myself I could fast as long as I didn't get weak. Luckily I felt really really good much of the time.




My feelings remain unchanged. I think detoxification takes a long period of time. I think getting parasites gone is complex, but take the fat out, and magic happens. Anything life affirming is going to help. This was my least perfect cleanse and yet ... the amount of junk that left my trunk was astonishing.




Long live MC.

Day 1? .... Suddenly I just swelled up. Like all of a sudden. And with it? Pain. Last time it was like my breasts had gained 20 painful pounds and all of a sudden my smallest non-cheating (meaning 100% cotton) jeans didn't fit cause my belly was ready for a hot air balloon take off.




So I did a quick Master Cleanse. I think it was 14 days. I didn't weigh myself or measure because it was so much effort just to you know ... not eat. I got a lot done. Then I tried to eat again and I went back to swollen land. Land of Giant Seas of swelling.




Because my body is now a self cleaning oven operating at the speed of light ... I guess I interrupted the cleansing process. I probably quit while I was not ahead.




So here I am, back again so soon? When the little hand hits the "S" and the big hand hits the "oon" ....I put the "oon" in Moon. Wham-lama-ding-dong.




Anyhow. Earlier I was starving and now I am ok again.




How? Because I am not actually starving. Far from it. And I turn it all over to a Higher Power. God. The Big Guy. Jesus, his son if you like. Help me Damon Salvatore! My mind slipped quite effortlessly into a permanent Hare Krishna ... it's a Kirtan and a Half.




To realize that the victim mode of Master Cleanse is entirely in your own mind ... is powerful. Because I'm only Faux-Hungry. A massive amount of people in the world are actually hungry. A few will actually starve to death and not cause they are BFF's with Stanley Burroughs. There's a heaviness in willingly doing detox that involves hunger. For sure an ... arrogance or ... entitlement.




I also know that there's people out there who are incredibly sick who will not recover the functionality I have. That the could really help themselves if they would stop eating and start drinking some magic spicy lemonade. So there is the fact that I am incredibly lucky.




AND there is the fact that most people really did think I would die. (I was electrocuted, got trigeminal neuralgia, was so ill I was in bed for about three years) And some probably even idly wished I would die, because that was how that story was supposed to end after all. We're not different from animals in this way. Thin the herd.




So yeah. Intermittent dagger stabbing me in he intestines right now. Tiny new kitten, an orange tabby who is purring and kneading my hair. He wants to crawl into my ear hole. He won't fit, but he wants to try.




I wish I could mind meld you Download everything I know about the Master Cleanse into your ear hole. But for now? Distraction and rest.

A thrifted $1 shirt, rejected by Mister Squee. Softest cotton, superfine made in Ireland. Perfect for 111 degree days. I couldn't give it back to the thrift, so I upcycled and refashioned.



It had a few stains upon microscopic examination. A soft new summer bell sleeve drop waist type dress. 1920's like, nice and loose and flowy. Buttons down the back. Skirt made of damask linen tablecloth that was partiall destroyed by cats and the washing machine. Don't let cats do your laundry. They say they know what the are doing. But they do not.



The big news is that somehow outta the clear blue sky I now know how to use bias tape to seal my inside seams so this entire dress, is beautifully made. No raw seams, nothing messy. SUCCESS! Anyone's grandma xould look at the inside of the dress and be impressed.



This is what Master Cleanse does for me. It is like I suddenly know something without being taught. A couple cleanses back; I got French seams. Just suddenly knw how. With no research at all. Less mucus, better brains. No digestion, sharpness increase. Not to mention the deep deep sleep.



I woke up with kittens purring my heart.

It's Day 4 for me.

I'm starving. I just cooked a ton of food I don't eat for Mister Squeegy and I am starving. I mean I cook all day long, Master Cleanse or not. But I just got slammed with hunger. I did a coffee enema and am hoping that will take the edge off. I wish this whole process was easier. It works, but holy hell it gets tough. It is not a joke.

I am at 9-10 drinks a day now. I am using grapefruit now exclusively. Maybe I can manage to get just a few more lemons off the trees. Without breaking my neck.

The Master Cleanse overwhelm is so real-seeming. There's tons of bile now in my butt pee. It's fluorescent yellow. That's bile. Bile filers out toxins so hopefully what is happening is just that I am going thru a rough few hours and it can calm down.

I definitely don't want to eat anything! I do wish there was someone here to encourage me. Dang Ghost Town!

Day 5 and so so hungry. Scary how different each cleanse can be. I ate a salad yesterday. I felt like I was hallucinating! It's so annoying how my body was suddenly just in charge. And it was eating.

Staying up on drinks today. Hoping I can find some distraction on Netflix. Forced myself to garden. That helped!

This has some excellent info ....

http://welltellme.com/discuss/index.php ... e04864fad2

Hey, Squeege!

How'd this last MC work out? Kind of weird that no one was responding as you posted. I guess no one's been visiting the forum. Like me. Until it's time to trim the flab again.

Anyhow, fun to read your stuff as usual. Loved the bit about your sewing skills.

I just started a new cleanse today. super motivated even if it's not a great time to be starting one, in terms of the amount of work I have to do around the house. I rent out half the place to a friend and her kid, but I do all the maintenence around here. Guess I'll be cleansing my system and this house at the same time.

Drop me a line!

LuvLem

Well, glad you're back on the thread here.

Sorry you have to live in LA and not NM! I love NM... only been there a few times, but it is like another world.

Keep posting.

L, L

http://betches.com/memoirs-master-cleanse/

so so so hilarous!

Hi there! Just read your entire journey and was writing to let you know that I LOVED every entry and that I am on day 2 of 40. I’ve only ever gone 30 days before....but I’ve been wanting to go for 40 for a long time. I’m in the headache zone still. Can’t wait for that to be gone. I’d love to hear if you are still doing these cleanses and have input from you since you’ve obviously mastered the master cleanse!