An update, so that you know I'm doing fine again (which makes me happy
).
Days after MC:
-day 1: fine, though a bit too much
-day 2: MC
-day 3: without food till 1p.m. then binges for several hours (just any food, not the one I liked, even frozen food (for the first time in my life!
))
-day 4: without food till 5p.m. then I gave in, binges for several hours (the food I had at home, like coconut flour+jam, I mean whatever, NOT the foods I enjoy, even some I hate - sardines), vomited in the evening (spontaneously)
-day 5: food during the whole day, binges for several hours, vomited in the evening on purpose (imense quantity of food in my stomach, which still wasn't able to digest food)
-day 6: was so hungry in the afternoon and wished pizza, so I went to a place to buy something like pizza, chewed slowly (the previous days I poured food down the throat), in the evening still much; decided I'm not able to restart the MC, enough lemonade
-day 7: better, had our last fasting meeting in the afternoon; I asked the Creator for support to show me good patterns of eating
-day 8: fine
-day 9: fine
-day 10: 49.1kg (108lbs) - the tightest non stretch knee-length jeans still fit perfectly. Relieved. I'm searching for new recipes, I don't have 'banned' foods or ingredients; and gosh, I'm eating less and so exciting about cooking on my own. For example I make spreads, I buy roasted hazelnuts for 2 dollars, blend them with a teaspoonful of cocoa = half a jar of yummy healthy cheap spread; or I roasted pumpkin and sunflower seeds, blended them with some oil = home-made version of very expensive IBI spreads,....making my own milk kefir, yoghurt AND cottage cheese! ...
You might think I'm odd bc of writing about food while you're sitting at the computer with a (zillionth) glass of lemonade (been there, done it) but hey that's a VERY important issue. I didn't think about food a single minute during my MC and I was so really confused about how I should eat. I forgot how I used to eat and I didn't know how it looks like. Sounds weird but I had no plans. I'm very happy that I discovered these new recipes (I only collect very simple ones which are delicious to me; others have no sense), I put them down, google new recipes...I believe that's the RIGHT way for me. I have no wish to be obsessed with food, and I know how miserable I felt the first week after MC!! Confused eating, even more confused head!! Oh bad bad.
I just thought it's fine to share my experience. If I help just one person a tiny bit with it, I'm already happy
.
I'm still around, love you guys, you've just become a part of me&I know some don't write public journals but go through the same. You're all brave! One day or 40 days, both is worth respect!