Chrissy- YOU ROCK!!!
I'M sooo glad YOU'RE here!!!!
I'm still here. The past week has been tough. I got sick last week and am barely now starting to feel like health is just over the horizon.
It started with a scratchy throat on Sunday last week which turned into a cough, then cold, and finally I believe it's stuck with a Sinus Infection. I've been miserable! I'm so full of mucus I just can't breathe. It's so gross! I tried to spend the last weekend resting and recuperating at home but it was horrible because I couldn't breathe. I didn't sleep much because I couldn't breathe.
Last week was also raining and so I spent most of my time inside without getting any exercise.
This Monday I woke up and still felt gross, so I decided to change things up a bit and make a point of getting outside for walks as much as I could. I also read in an alternative health book that there are a few things I could try without having to go out and buy anything to make my sinuses better. One of them is to swallow a raw garlic clove everyday. eewww! Gross!!! But I did it! I'm not able to swallow the garlic whole, so I cut it up into bearable pieces. So far I think it's helping. I just want to breathe normal again.
Since I'm supposed to be calorie counting these weeks, I've been trying to keep the calories down.
Unfortunately, since I feel like caca I've been too lazy to keep track in my software, which is something I really hoped to accomplish because it helps me to just pull up a report and see what my averages have been and stuff. I had planned to do this until the 14th and weigh in on the 15th, but at this rate I'll probably just finish this month out and get back to Somersize April 1st.
I've also been drinking Lemonade which is my go to, to try and stay healthy. It's super yummy and the cayenne helps me breathe.
I don't do it MC style, I just add it to my day. No tea or SWF.
But since I have been drinking it, this to me means that MCing in April is not gonna happen. I just can't drink the Lemonade for that long. It makes it yucky for when I'm actually MCing. So this means I will stick to my original date of late May for my MC.
This year so far has been a lot tougher than I had hoped. I mean, I knew losing weight is hard but other stuff has come up that just sucks and makes this harder than it should be. I begun the year with a sprained ankle which worked well for my MC in January because i like to lay low the whole time. But when I was done MCing and was getting ready to incorporate exercise into my life I couldn't walk.
Now that I've really been trying to keep moving forward, I get sick for the first time in well over a freakin year!! Why?! Why?! WHY??!!!!!
I feel like I'm complaining a lot.
Could these things be a form of self-sabotage?
What am I doing to myself????
If I'm really serious about this being the year for change, then I have to learn to deal with challenges, right?
I have to push through the tough situations and keep my eye on the goal, right?
Uuggghhh, It is so easy for me to just dwell into the negative feeling and indulge. I tell myself,
"I'm sick. My body NEEDS food!!!!"
"I'll sleep better if my tummy is full and I'm sick so I need lots of sleep!"
You know what else is funny??
When I eat, for whatever reason, I don't have any problem breathing. That's the only friggin time that both my nostrils are taking IN air. How crazy is that??!! So of course, I use that as an excuse to eat, eat, and eat!!
I have to work harder. I still have a goal of 5 lbs by the end of this month. I still have TONS of clothes i can't fit into.
This week I realized that I have a little kind of mantra I've been using to keep me moving forward. It started as a way to make me feel better in the moment but now It seems to motivate me. Funny.
I remember at the beginning of the year, I was getting ready to go out somewhere and as I was leaving I looked at myself in the mirror and DID NOT like what i saw. So I said to myself,
"I'm not there yet, BUT I will be." And forced myself to smile at my reflection.
Now every time I see my reflection (or shadow) and I'm not happy with what I see, I say my little mantra and smile. After 2 months, it's actually not as hard to smile anymore.
Something else I've consciously started to say just this week, after I recognized the other saying, is
"I'm Full! I'm Full! I'm Full! I'm Full! I'm Full!"
A few times I've switched it up and tried,
"Thank you for the food. I've had enough, I'm full."
I've been trying to say this one any time food comes into my mind, any time I'm about to eat, when I'm eating, and before bed. Basically, I'm saying it to myself ALL DAY.
I recognize I need to start working on portion control. I can't keep stuffing my face like I do. So the "I'm Full" saying is something I'm making a point of really listening to. I'm either full or satisfied with small amounts, I DON'T need to over eat!
I think I'm in a good place. I'm really trying to be in a good place. Okay, Okay. I'm really trying to remember what it's like to be in a good place.
The one good thing about being sick. Really, THE ONLY good thing is,
Nothing else matters if I don't have my health.
I guess sometimes I get caught up in my own bs and forget what's really important. I forget how to keep things in perspective.
My family and I are healthy. The rest is gravy.
Maybe I've been really forgetting that and that is why these things are happening to me?
I'll admit, after 6 weeks of not being able to walk normal without pain, I took to walking (with the stroller
) like it was the most amazing thing in the whole world. And now, when I'm out walking, I try to smell the fresh air, feel the wind and sun on my skin, hear the beautiful birds, and see the wonderful colors outside as we welcome spring. I love it!
I love this writing down stuff thing, I've had a realization right here, right now.
It was horrible spraining my ankle, but I'm so much stronger now because of it(and I don't just mean physically). I don't know if I would be able to appreciate my walks and jogs as much as I do right now if it hadn't happened.
Wow, talk about a blessing in disguise.
Okay, I'll stop now and leave off with this good feeling I'm feeling.